"All I Wanted Was Okonomiyaki! Desperate Sailor Moon"

Five girls emerged from a train station in Nerima-ku. Mizuno Ami, the shortest of the five, with a somewhat turquoise tint to her hair, spent a couple of minutes engrossed in her palmtop computer; at length, she pocketed it and began walking, the others falling in step behind her.

"I don't know what we'd do without you, Ami-chan," Tsukino Usagi, a girl with long golden hair tied in twin ponytails topped with small, round buns said.

"Learn to read a map, maybe?" suggested Hino Rei, her long, straight raven hair swaying in the light summer breeze.

"I hope this place is worth the trip," the tallest member of the group, Kino Makoto, said.

"I've heard lots of good things," the fifth member of the group, Aino Minako, a blue-eyed blond whose long hair was topped with a large red bow, said. "Juka-chan in class three can't stop talking about it!"

"Eeeeh?!" Usagi replied, eyes wide. "Wow, if it's Juka-chan, then this place must really be incredible!"

"Juka-chan? Who's that?" Rei asked.

"The only girl at our school who's more obsessed with food than Usagi," Makoto answered, grinning. "And she's right, if Jukarin's praising this place, it must be amazing."

"I also heard the cook is really, really cute," Minako said with a grin.

Makoto grinned as well. "Nice, Minako-chan!"

"Three blocks this way, then we take a right and walk five more blocks," Ami told the others.

The five chatted lightly as they walked; three blocks from their destination, Usagi began whining about the heat.

"We're almost there, and I'm sure you can get something cold to drink," Rei said in a less than patient tone.

Soon enough, they reached a shop with a noren that proclaimed its name: "Okonomiyaki Ucchan". The bell over the entrance jingled merrily as they entered.

"Irasshai!" the cook, a slim, attractive brunette with long hair tied with a white ribbon, called from behind the grill. "Y'all are just in time, I just now opened up! There's plenty of seats up here at the counter, unless y'all want a table?"

"The counter's fine," Usagi said as she took a seat; the others lined up alongside her, two to either side.

The cook nodded. "I gotta get some stuff outta the fridge, but I'll be back right quick to take y'all's orders."

As the cook bustled off, the five girls exchanged glances.

"Well...she is cute," Makoto said, a somewhat displeased note in her voice.

"I coulda sworn Juka-chan said a cute boy ran this place," Minako said, frowning.

"Maybe he just isn't here yet?" Usagi offered.

The door opened again, and a petite, busty, and somewhat damp redhead trudged in, plopping down at the counter beside the other girls. "Yo, Ucchan!" she yelled.

The young cook immediately reappeared. "Ranchan!" She eyed the redhead and sighed. "I don't have a kettle on yet, but it'll only take a minute."

"Eh, don't bother. Just gimme three of th' usual." She paused, noticing the five customers with no plates in front of them, and blushed. "Guess you better take care o' these gals first."

"If you say so," 'Ucchan' shrugged. The girls placed their orders, and she quickly set to work cooking.

"You're a regular, I take it?" Makoto asked the redhead.

"You bet! Ucchan's my best friend, an' her cookin's th' best!" The cook beamed at this comment.

"We'd heard there was this cute guy who worked here too," Minako said.

"Huh? Nope, nobody here but Ucchan," the redhead said, confused. "Hey Ucchan, did you hire some help or somethin'?"

"They probably mean me, ya dip," 'Ucchan' retorted playfully, flicking a bit of batter off her spatula at the redhead's nose. "I do still get mistaken for a guy sometimes, ya know."

"Oh yeah. Heh."

Two of the five girls visibly deflated. "It's Haruka-san all over again," Makoto moaned. They perked up, however, when plates of steaming hot okonomiyaki were placed in front of them. A moment later, a large plate with three okonomiyaki was placed in front of the redhead.

"Itadakimasu!" all six patrons chorused before digging in.

"Wow, this really IS good!" Usagi said.

"Best okonomiyaki I've ever tasted," Makoto agreed.

The cook bowed. She then tilted her head. "Ain't seen you gals around before. Y'all don't go to Fuurinkan, do you?"

"Iie," Ami said. "We came here from Azabu-Juuban. Minako-chan heard about your shop, and we all decided to come together."

"Really? Y'all came all that far just ta visit my shop?" the cook said, eyes wide. "Wow, I'm flattered!"

"You're gettin' famous, Ucchan," the redhead said with a grin.

The five girls suddenly found fresh okonomiyaki on their plates, even though only Usagi had eaten more than half of her first serving. "Here y'all go, an extra portion, on me," the cook said.

"Wai! Arigatou!" Usagi cheered, digging in with enthusiasm. The others at at a more sedate, but still appreciative, pace.

"So, is it the food y'all came for, or the boy-watchin'?" the cook asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Both, but mostly the food," Minako replied. "Shame the other part of the trip is a bust, but this okonomiyaki is still worth coming all this way for."

"Well, be sure y'all tell your friends about it," the cook said. "I do pretty good business with the local crowd, but I always like gettin' more customers." She prepared another okonomiyaki for the redhead, who had already finished her first three. "So, who was it this time?" she asked. "Akane-chan? Your dad?"

"Some little turd on a bike," the shorter girl replied through a mouthful of food. "Wasn't bein' careful, dropped his water bottle. It broke an' sprayed all over me."

The cook clucked her tongue. "Poor Ranchan. Y'sure you don't want the kettle?"

"Nah, I'm thinkin' I might get some ice cream after this," the redhead replied.

The cook nodded in understanding; the five girls from Juuban shared a glance that said none of them had entirely understood that exchange.

After a moment, though, Usagi chimed in, "You know, ice cream does sound pretty good right about now."

"I could go for some ice cream," Minako added.

"Well, if anybody knows the best place for ice cream around here, it's Ranchan," the cook said.

"Mind if we tag along with you after we're done here?" Usagi asked the redhead.

"Sure," 'Ranchan' replied with a shrug.

Once the six girls had finished eating, the redhead, who finally introduced herself as Ranko, led the others to an ice cream shop a block and a half away from Ucchan's. They spent nearly an hour sitting at a table, making small talk as they gorged themselves on an array of parfaits, sundaes, and banana splits.

By the time they left the ice cream shop, it had gotten quite hot; the ground was positively baking beneath their feet, and the air was heavy with humidity. "Ugh, I'm not looking forward to the walk back to the train station," Rei complained.

"Yeah, it's hot enough to fry an egg in the concrete jungle," Minako said.

Ranko blinked at the blond and tilted her head. "What the what now?"

Rei groaned. Ami cast Minako an exasperated look. "Ignore her, Ranko-chan, she doesn't handle idioms well."

"Hoo-kay...well, it was fun meetin' you gals," Ranko said, waving. "I'd better get back home, though..."

The street exploded, throwing all six girls violently against the walls of surrounding shops.

Four magatama, each a different color and with a vaguely human face, all four roughly half the size of a man, erupted from the crater in the street. One was dark red and had a furiously angry expression, another was gold and bore a rather cheeky expression, the third was silver and wore a happy expression, and the fourth was yellow with a serene expression.

All four of them were raining destruction on the block, bobbing and bouncing in the air as they rampaged, and chattering away in a cacophony that sounded something like:

"MITAMAmitamaMiTaMaMITAMAmitamaMITAMAmItAmAmitamaMITAMAmItAmAMiTaMa!"

"What th' HELL?!" the redhead cried, rolling to her feet and adopting a fighting stance.

The five girls from Juuban shared a significant glance, nodded to each other in unison, and scattered.

* * * * *

Saotome Ranma had seen many strange things in her short lifetime.

This was definitely one of them.

The strange, magatama-shaped creatures were running completely wild, lashing out with scorching blasts of fire, destructive bolts of lightning, sharp, bitter-cold shards of ice, and powerful bursts of wind that picked up mailboxes, cars, vending machines, and other stationary objects and hurled them all over the place.

Deciding the one shooting lightning needed to go first, Ranma charged down the street, leapt into the air at a sideways angle which allowed her to ricochet off the second story of a building, aimed herself like a cannon bolt at the flying freakshow, and drove it to the ground with a devastating kick. As soon as it ate pavement, she bounced off it, headed for the one spewing fire. An Amaguriken assault caught its attention; she drew it into a spiral and launched it into the sky with her Hiryuu Shoutenha.

Then she herself was flung into the air as the one using wind attacks caught her off-guard and threw her down the street; she slammed into the lightning-shooting magatama, which had just gotten up from the ground and was clearly not amused. It spun around in the air and zapped her; her pigtail stood on end and her hair frizzed out comically.

This gave the one she'd launched time to return to the fray, and although it was clearly winded from her attack, it was recovering rapidly, and now all four of them were circling her. She watched her four strange opponents warily, trying desperately to come up with a plan of attack that would get rid of these creatures before somebody really got hurt...

"MACHINASAI!"

Ranma stared in shock at the five girls which had just appeared in the middle of the street.

The outfits they wore could only be described as highly stylized sailor uniforms, each consisting of a form-fitting white leotard with an attached collar flap, embarrassingly short skirts, elbow-length white gloves, and bows at the chest and small of the back. They also each wore chokers and tiaras; two of them wore knee-high boots, two wore high-heeled shoes, and the tallest one wore ankle-high boots. The skirts and bows of each girl were different colors from one another.

*No freakin' way...could these girls be...?!

The girl in the center, with the blue skirt, red bows and boots, and strangely familiar hairstyle, struck a series of poses as she glared at the floating monsters.

"Hot summer afternoons are for ice cream, the beach, and wearing bikinis to show off for cute boys, not for destroying the city! Ai to seigi no, seira-fuku bishoujo senshi...Sailormoon! Tsuki ni kawatte, oshioki yo!"

"Holy SHIT," Ranma breathed. She'd heard of the 'Sailor Senshi', but believed them to be some silly urban legend; even with all the weird things she'd seen in her lifetime, the notion of a bunch of chicks in miniskirts fighting monsters using magic powers seemed a bit far-fetched.

And yet, here they were, right in front of her.

The monsters quickly forgot about her and swarmed toward the Sailor Senshi, orbiting each other and spewing out blasts of deadly magic. The Senshi leapt out of the path of their attacks, and returned fire with their own.

"BURNING MANDALA!"

"SHINE AQUA ILLUSION!"

"SPARKLING WIDE PRESSURE!"

"CRESCENT BEAM!"

"MOON TIARA ACTION!"

Their attacks completely missed the flying menaces, who divebombed them. The Senshi shrieked as they ran around in a panic.

Ranma scowled, picked up a signpost which had been torn from the ground, and charged. Leaping high into the air, she swung her improvised weapon at the creature which was spewing fire, knocking it flat on its face. She pinpointed the Senshi with the blue hair, skirt, and bow—the one who had used a water-based attack—and shouted, "YOU! This one uses fire!"

The blue-haired Senshi seemed a bit startled, but recovered quickly; she nodded her understanding, and unleashed her attack on the angry red magatama. It let out a bellow of pain and lay motionless.

Ranma was already on the move again; she swatted the lightning-shooting monster into the side of a building. The red-skirted Senshi, quick to understand what was going on, unleashed her own attack, engulfing it in searing yellow flames before it could recover. It dropped to the ground, charred and smoldering.

The next magatama took longer to knock down, as by now the remaining two had realized what was happening, but with the monsters vastly outnumbered, the battle was now in favor of the Senshi and their newfound ally. Ranma clobbered the one that used ice attacks, and the green-skirted Senshi fried it with a powerful lightning attack. The remaining, wind-based monster backed against a wall, surrounded by six very irritated warriors. Before it could unleash an attack, it had been driven into the sidewalk by a powerful diving kick from Ranma, and the Senshi dogpiled it.

"Well, that about wraps that up," the tallest Senshi proclaimed, dusting off her gloved hands. She turned to Ranma and grinned. "Hey, thanks for the assist."

"I'm just surprised you gals are really real," Ranma replied. "You're pretty good. You all need some serious trainin', though."

"What's THAT supposed to mean?" the orange-skirted Senshi asked archly, arms folded and eyebrows raised.

"Well, before I stepped in, those things kinda had you gals runnin' around like chickens," the redhead said. "You need t' learn how not t' get in a tight spot like that..."

"She does have a point," the blue-skirted Senshi said. "Even if she is a little rude about it," she added.

"Ah, sorry, I didn't mean t' be rude. It's just—"

"miTAMA."

Ranma and the Senshi whirled in shock; the yellow magatama had risen shakily into the air again. It began to spin serenely in place; a wave of dazzling light spread out over the other three, which all rose from where they had been defeated and flew unsteadily over to their cohort.

"Crap," Ranma muttered. "Looks like this ain't over yet..."

The four creatures gathered in a tight circle formation and began to spin rapidly in the air, forming a whirling blur of color. Their circle grew ever tighter, until they all came into direct contact in the center; a burst of blinding white light dazzled the six fighters.

When their vision cleared, they saw...

"Oh great, a gattai monster. I don't think we've ever fought one of those, have we?"

"I'm sure we have, but I can't really remember."

The four creatures had fused together, and were now one single, spinning disc with four faces. "MITAMA!" the creature roared. Without warning, it launched a blindingly fast ball of white light at Sailor Moon, who had no time to evade; she caught the full brunt of the blast and was sent flying, her scream of pain trailing off.

"SAILOR MOON!" the other Senshi cried in alarm.

"SURROUND IT!" Ranma yelled.

"But—"

"We don't got time t' worry about Sailor Moon! We gotta finish this thing off before it does that t' anyone else!"

The four remaining Senshi nodded grimly, realizing the truth of Ranma's words, and quietly moved into position around the monster, which seemed quite pleased with itself.

"You hurt Sailor Moon," the red-skirted Senshi said in a low, soft, dangerous hiss. "For that, Sailor Mars will NOT forgive you."

"There's no place in this world for monsters that delight in pain and destruction," the blue-skirted Senshi added. "In the name of Mercury, I'll force you to repent!"

"You're not getting away with hurting my friend!" the green-skirted Senshi roared. "In the name of Jupiter, I'll shove a lightning bolt right up your ass!"

"It's our duty to protect the world from evil monsters like you," the last of the four Senshi said. "In the name of Venus, we will NOT fail!"

"BISHOUJO SENSHI...SAILOR TEAM!"

Ranma rolled her eyes. "Just kill it already. Sheesh."

The spinning gattai monster began to glow brightly; it was clearly gearing up for another assault...

"BURNING MANDALA!"

"SHINE AQUA ILLUSION!"

"SPARKLING WIDE PRESSURE!"

"VENUS LOVE-ME CHAIN!"

A glowing chain of golden hearts ensnared the monster, dragging it to the ground. A wave of freezing cold water broke over it; arcs of electricity popped, crackled, and buzzed all over its body. Lastly, rings of searing flame enveloped it; it cried out in agony.

Ranma cupped her hands and focused her ki. Her sapphire eyes blazed with determination.

"MOKO TAKABISHA!"

The Senshi stared in outright disbelief as a blazing beam of pure energy erupted from the petite redhead's hands, slamming into the fused monster and driving it into the street with enough force to crater the pavement. When Ranma broke off her attack, the thing appeared to be quite dead; curls of smoke were rising from its charred, battered form.

"Whoa. What...what ARE you?" Sailor Jupiter asked.

"I'm th' best martial artist in th' world!" Ranma declared, thrusting her chest out.

"Are...are you actually human?" Mars asked.

"Could she be another Senshi? One we don't know about?" Mercury wondered.

"Yes, I'm human, no, I ain't no Sailor Senshi, an' like I said, I can do that 'cuz I'm th' best there is," Ranma replied.

"...TAMA!"

"The best there is" found herself knocked flat on her ass as the fused magatama, believed to be dead, abruptly rose from the crater in the street and bodily tackled her.

"It STILL isn't dead?!" Venus shrieked, gaping in shock.

"How much abuse can this thing TAKE?" Jupiter cried.

"Let's...find out..." a soft voice, barely audible, wheezed. Through the shimmering haze of afternoon heat, the Senshi and Ranma could see...

"SAILOR MOON!"

Sailor Moon dragged herself wearily toward the rest of the group. She was bruised, scratched, and bleeding, and clutching at her left shoulder. Her face was set in a grimace of pain, and her fuku was ripped and torn. Still, her eyes blazed with determination and anger. A long, slender pink sceptre, topped with a heart-shaped jewel, appeared in her gloved hand.

"Oh shit," Jupiter muttered. She grabbed the dazed Ranma and leapt to a nearby rooftop; the other Senshi similarly jumped clear.

"MOON...SPIRAL...HEART...ATTACK!!"

The fused creature had just risen into the air, wobbling badly, when the giant glowing pink heart slammed into it. "TAMAAAAAAAAA!" it screamed as its body shattered. When the blinding pink flare faded, there was nothing left but a wisp of black smoke, which quickly dissipated.

Sailor Moon sank to her knees, dropping her sceptre.

"SAILOR MOON!" the other Senshi cried, jumping down and rushing toward their leader. Ranma leapt nimbly down and joined them, concerned for the wounded Senshi.

"I'm...alright, minna..." Sailor Moon hissed.

"That shoulder's dislocated," Ranma pronounced. "I know a doc that can fix ya right up."

"Thanks...for helping my friends out," Sailor Moon said. She was still gasping for breath.

"Usagi...don't talk," Sailor Mars said gently. "We need to get you out of here, you need to rest..."

Ranma blinked. *Usagi...?!*

"I'm okay, Rei...really..."

*Rei?! Then...* Ranma looked at the other three Senshi, and suddenly, as though a fog had been lifted, sharpness of detail fell into place. She realized, to her shock, that the Sailor Senshi she had just fought alongside were the same five girls she'd spent the afternoon eating ice cream with. Girls who had accepted her and treated her like a friend, something she'd had precious little of in her life recently...

Girls who only knew her as Ranko and who lived in another ward of Tokyo entirely, but those were minor details.

Sailor Mars motioned to the tallest Senshi. "Mako-chan, help me get her up, we need to—"

A cloud of blackness appeared directly behind Sailor Moon as she struggled to stand up. Motes of shadow drifted away from the cloud, which resolved into a humanoid form.

He wore a white uniform, over which he sported gleaming green armor that protected his body from shoulder to groin. A crimson silk scarf was wrapped around his neck. Short, messy white hair topped his head, bangs falling into his face, which was dark purple; his one visible eye was glowing an angry, hellish red.

Before anyone could react, he pulled a massive black sword out of thin air and impaled Sailor Moon. Then, without a word, he vanished as abruptly as he had appeared.

"NO!" Sailor Mars screamed.

"USAGI!" the others cried.

Sailor Moon stared down at the massive, bleeding wound in her abdomen, eyes wide in shock. Slowly, she toppled over, landing on her side, staring up, hands clutched to the gaping wound just beneath her breasts.

"We've gotta help her! She needs a doctor, right away!" Mars exclaimed.

"There isn't time," Mercury said, tears gathering in her eyes. "There...just isn't time..."

"I can get her to Tofuu-sensei, his place is just a couple blocks from here, maybe he can..." Ranma said. She crouched down and made to pick up the mortally wounded Senshi.

Sailor Moon took hold of her hand with one blood-stained glove. "Please...Ranko..." she coughed, spitting a glob of blood onto the pavement. With her other hand, she reached jerkily up to her own chest, and with what seemed to be the last of her strength, she tore loose the ornate brooch that rested there. She glowed softly for a moment; her torn, blood-stained fuku was replaced by the pink T-shirt with a cute white bunny on the front and white denim shorts she had been wearing earlier that day, when her only cares in the world had been okonomiyaki and ice cream. Trembling, eyes glazed and glassy, she placed the brooch in Ranma's hand. "Pro...tect..." she rasped.

Her hands slipped to the pavement; she had expended the last of her strength. She sagged, limply, to the ground. A last, gurgling breath rattled in her throat as the pool of blood on the street grew wider.

Grimly, Ranma reached out and gently closed Tsukino Usagi's eyes. "I promise," she whispered.

"I can't allow that," a soft voice said. The Senshi and Ranma whirled.

The man who had killed Sailor Moon had reappeared, and his malevolent gaze drilled into Ranma. "Hand over the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou. Or die."

POWERED BY DREAMHOST

Since 11/18/12