"Uhh...hey Rarity," Spike said nervously, eyes flickering from Rarity to Twilight and back. "Wh-what are you talking about?"

Rarity laughed daintily into her hand. "Why, I'm talking about your little tête-à-tête with Pinkie Pie, of course," she said. She feigned a wounded expression. "And here I thought I was the only woman near and dear to your heart."

"Gah!" Spike flailed his arms frantically. "No, it's...no! I just..." He trailed off, then shot a poisonous glare at Twilight. "Why the hell'd you go and tell Rarity about it?" he demanded hotly.

Twilight calmly sipped her tea, regarding him coolly over the brim of the cup. "Because you're a turd," she said in the most deadpan, matter-of-fact tone possible.

Rarity let out a dramatic gasp, placing a hand over her heart. "My word! A turd?" She gave Twilight a comical, wide-eyed stare. "Really?" She turned to Spike with the same silly expression, batting her eyelashes. "Is it true? Are you really a turd?"

Spike rolled his eyes and groaned. "Real funny."

Rarity laughed. "Oh, I'm sorry, darling," she said. "I'll admit I was somewhat...surprised when Twilight told me, but..." She picked up her tea and turned the cup in her hands. "It's actually quite understandable."

"It is?" Spike asked.

"It is?" Twilight echoed.

"Why yes," Rarity said. "After all, when boys reach Spike's age, well...the hormones start to take over, non? And, well..." She pursed her lips. "Not to disparage Pinkie Pie, but...a girl as well-developed as she is really should have at least some modesty." She shrugged. "Put a hormonal boy and a girl with Pinkie Pie's body and lack of inhibitions together and, well..." She sipped her tea. "C'est la vie." She smiled. "And it really isn't surprising that Spike would have crushes on more than one of your friends, Twilight."

"I don't have a crush on Pinkie!" Spike whined. "Having sex with her wasn't even my idea!"

"But you did say you wanted to feel her up," Twilight said.

Spike blushed. "Well...yeah, but that's not the same thing as having a crush." He sighed and headed for the kitchen. "I'm gonna get a soda," he said.

As he walked past, Rarity's eyes narrowed slightly. "Just a moment," she said. She rose from the table and moved swiftly to intercept Spike, peering intently at him.

Spike looked up at her, face red, scuffing his toe on the floor. "What is it?" he asked.

Rarity reached out and plucked something from his shoulder. She absently pulled her sewing glasses out of thin air and put them on, then scrutinized what she was holding. "Well now. This is interesting."

"What? A loose thread on my shirt?" Spike asked.

"No, these aren't threads," Rarity said. She walked back over to the sofa and handed Twilight what she was holding. "Have a look, darling."

Spike watched as Twilight held up two thin strands to the light, squinting. "Looks like...hair?" She frowned. "They're not even the same color. One's orange, the other is green..." She looked up at Spike. "I guess the green one is Spike's, but—"

"No, it isn't," Rarity said. "Look at the roots. Both of them."

Twilight looked closer. Her brow furrowed. "Huh. You're right." She tilted her head in confusion and looked at her brother. "Spike, is there any particular reason why you would have Rainbow Dash's hair on your shirt?"

Spike flinched. "Erk!"

"I'd dearly love to know why those were there myself," Rarity said. Her nose wrinkled. "I mean, Spike smelling like Fluttershy's perfume makes sense, I've seen the way she hugs him, but..."

Twilight blinked. She stood up and walked over, leaning in to sniff Spike. "Wow, that's really strong," she said.

"I'm just gonna go take a shower now," Spike said, hastily exiting the room.

Twilight stared after him. "You don't think...?"

Rarity laughed. "Please, darling. Some notions are simply too ridiculous to entertain."

Both girls' phones vibrated at the same time. They pulled them out and looked at them curiously.

"Oh hey, a text from Applejack," Twilight said.

"Same here," Rarity said. "Oh, dear! I'd completely forgotten about that little soirée tomorrow!" A brief look of panic flashed across her face. "I...I haven't laid out an ensemble! I haven't coordinated my wardrobe! This is the worst possible—"

"Rarity," Twilight said in a flat voice, "it's a barbecue. On a farm. I wouldn't worry about it."

Rarity stared at her as though she had suddenly sprouted cloven hooves and goat horns. "Wouldn't worry?! Twilight, dear...you may be one of the smartest people I know, but, and please don't take this the wrong way...you know absolutely nothing about fashion."

"Hey! My clothes aren't that bad," Twilight said.

"Oh, of course not, dear!" Rarity said hastily. "But fashion is about more than simply dressing nicely, and—"

"It's a barbecue," Twilight repeated. "On a farm. Anything you wear is probably going to get dirty. And the stains probably won't come out."

Rarity blinked. "Oh. Oh, yes. I see your point." She coughed delicately. "Ahem. Well then. Perhaps on the way home, I'll stop to buy something..." She grimaced, choking out the next words as though they were globs of phlegm. "Off the rack."

* * * * *

It was barely eleven in the morning, but it was already hot and muggy, and cicadas were already buzzing.

Five girls got off a bus at the stop two miles from Sweet Apple Acres, the closest stop on the route to the farm on the outskirts of town. An old, battered pickup truck waited a short distance from the stop; a tall, broad-shouldered man with short, sandy blond hair in dusty jeans, scuffed boots, and a red short-sleeved shirt leaned against it, chewing on a grass stalk.

The girls walked over to the truck and piled into the bed, greeting the farmer. He waved, then got into the cab of the truck and started it up. The tailpipe banged noisily as the old farm truck trundled up the road to the farm.

A short while later, the five girls were gathered in a large, shady gazebo behind the farmhouse, sitting on well-worn but comfortable benches. A sixth girl, tall, tanned, and blond, joined them a few minutes after they settled in, a heavy drink cooler hoisted on one shoulder. "Howdy, y'all!" she called as she plunked the cooler down in the middle of the gazebo. "Ain't it a mite hot out today?" she asked brightly, popping open the lid of the cooler and plucking a can of apple juice out of the ice water inside. She fanned herself with her battered brown Stetson as she popped the top and chugged the juice. "Help yourselves," she said.

Rarity, wearing a plain black skirt, calf-length boots, a light blue sleeveless shirt, and a wide-brimmed powder-blue chapeau, leaned into the cooler, extracting a second can of apple juice. She frowned at Applejack as she scanned her attire. "Don't you feel rather...exposed?" she asked.

Applejack scratched her bare stomach and belched. "Nah, not really," she said. She was wearing short, ratty denim cutoffs, a green-and-white striped bra, her Stetson, and nothing else. "It's too dang hot fer a shirt, ain't nobody around t' gawk, an' Big Mac just took Granny an' Apple Bloom inta th' city fer th' day. It's just us girls, so why shouldn't Ah get comfortable?" She finished off her juice and tossed the can into an empty bucket next to the gazebo.

"You're right, it IS too hot for a shirt!" Pinkie Pie said. She was wearing a blue miniskirt, a bubblegum pink T-shirt, and pink flip-flops. Her wild, frizzy pink hair looked somewhat sticky from the heat and humidity. She grabbed the hem of her shirt and flung it off over her head; her breasts bounced and bobbled.

Applejack facepalmed. "Okay yeah, you need ta keep yer shirt on," she said.

"Awww," Pinkie pouted, but put her shirt back on. The other girls shook their heads, red-faced. Pinkie stuck her tongue out at them and grabbed a can of milk chocolate iced coffee. Applejack blinked at that. *Funny...Ah don't think Ah had that in there...*

Rainbow, wearing a black sports bra, black running shorts, and an old pair of sneakers, snickered. "That's exactly the kind of thing that started the whole Spike mess, y'know," she said teasingly as she snagged a cola for herself.

"Can we please not talk about that today?" Twilight, wearing plain purple gym shorts, a lavender tank top, and white canvas slip-on shoes, muttered as she fished a root beer out of the cooler.

Fluttershy, wearing white canvas shorts, strappy sandals, and a loose canary yellow tie top, blushed furiously, saying nothing as she selected a can of orange soda.

"Talk about what?" Applejack asked.

"Nevermind!" Twilight said hastily. "So, do you need any help with the food?" she added in a bright, somewhat manic tone.

Applejack gave her a dubious look, then shrugged. "Okay then. Got a buncha stuff on the grill, give it about another half hour." She looked at the group, then nodded to Rainbow. "Wanna help me set up an' mind th' vittles, runt?"

"Hey! What'd you call me?" Rainbow demanded hotly.

Applejack stepped right up to her, smirking as the difference in height resulted in Rainbow staring at a point just below Applejack's bra. "Ah called you a runt, cuz yer a runt. Now gitcher butt up an' help me." She marched off over to the obscenely large grill set up a dozen feet from the gazebo, which was billowing smoke into the air.

Rainbow rolled her eyes, gave Applejack's retreating back the finger, then put her unopened drink back in the cooler and trotted off after her.

Rarity raised an eyebrow. "Good heavens...is Applejack the only one who doesn't know about Spike and Pinkie?"

Pinkie blinked. "She doesn't know? Huh, I guess I forgot to tell her."

Twilight brushed an errant mosquito off her thigh. "She really doesn't need to know," she said. "Applejack..." She shrugged. "It took so much for her to trust any of us and stop acting so..."

"Rude and bitchy?" Pinkie offered.

"Aloof," Twilight amended. "I don't really think dropping this weird Spinkie drama on her—"

"Spinkie?" Rarity asked, raising an eyebrow. "Did you just...did you just make up a shipping name for your brother and Pinkie Pie?" Fluttershy abruptly giggled, and Twilight blushed.

"I was sick of saying 'they had sex', okay?" Twilight said, exasperated. "Anyway, it just...doesn't really seem like something that needs further discussion."

Applejack and Rainbow jogged back over, carrying a large folding picnic table. As they approached, Applejack shot Pinkie a wicked grin. "So Ah heard you done poked Twi's little brother," she said.

Twilight sprayed root beer all over the gazebo. "RAINBOW!" she howled.

"She asked," Rainbow said, shrugging as they set up the table.

Applejack chuckled. "Y'all're gonna tell me all about it when Ah get th' vittles done," she said, walking back to the grill.

Twilight groaned. "It's like the meme from hell," she muttered. "Can't get away from it."

"Aww, it's not so bad," Pinkie said, patting Twilight on the shoulder.

Twilight glared at her. "Not. Helping!"

"Umm...maybe we should talk about something else now?" Fluttershy offered, red in the face.

A short while later, the picnic table was laden with heaping serving plates of ribs, hamburgers, sausages, chicken, rolls and buns, fixings, cole slaw, potato salad, beans, corn on the cob, fresh ripe apples, apple pies, apple fritters, and apple brown betties.

"Think you made enough food?" Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow. "There's only six of us."

Applejack chuckled. "Aw, shucks...y'all think Ah ain't gonna send y'all home with leftovers? An' there'll be plenty left ter feed mah family when they get home, too."

"We'll see about that!" Rainbow crowed as she loaded two paper plates with food. She didn't even wait for the others before chowing down. The others served themselves and began eating more sedately.

"So, Pinkie," Applejack said around a mouthful of chicken, "what's all this about you an' Spike?"

"I had sex with Spike," Pinkie said, taking a big bite out of a hamburger.

Applejack raised an eyebrow. "There's gotta be a mite more t' the story than that," she said.

"Eh, a little," Pinkie said. "But the important part is the sex."

Rarity daintily sliced into a sausage and took a ladylike bite. "What I'm curious about," she said, "is why Rainbow's hair was on Spike's shirt when he came home yesterday."

Rainbow choked on a mouthful of rib meat. Fluttershy pounded her back as she coughed and spluttered. "WHAT?!" Rainbow cried.

"I was having tea with Twilight," Rarity said lightly. "Spike came home, I was teasing him about the Pinkie sex thing. I noticed he had some stray hairs on his shirt, I took a look, and, well..." She pointed her fork at Rainbow. "Two different colored strands of hair with sky blue roots?"

"Huh. Hooooow'd that happen?" Rainbow said, laughing nervously.

"I mean, Fluttershy's perfume being all over him, that I could understand, even if it was awfully strong," Rarity said.

"It was awfully strong, wasn't it?" Twilight asked, tilting her head. "Spike never smells that much like Fluttershy."

Pinkie gasped. "Oh. My gosh. You girls didn't."

"Didn't what?" Rainbow asked hastily. "Because whatever it is you're thinking, it never happened."

Twilight felt a stone weight in the pit of her stomach that had nothing to do with the baked beans. Pinkie and Rarity shared an amused smirk. Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Okay now this is gettin' good," Applejack said.

"What exactly happened yesterday?" Twilight asked.

"Nothing!" Rainbow insisted.

Applejack grinned evilly at her and picked up a corn cob. "C'mon now," she said, waving the corn at Rainbow. "The Corn of Truth compels you," she said in a spooky voice.

"What."

Pinkie giggled. "That's so corny! I love it!"

Applejack grinned and leaned over the table, waving the corn under Rainbow's nose. "The Corn of Truth compels yoooooou," she repeated.

"CORN OF TRUTH! CORN OF TRUTH! CORN OF TRUTH!" Pinkie began chanting.

"ALRIGHT!" Rainbow yelled. "Just...enough with the corny corn, you're creeping me out." She sighed. "I...kinda...sorta...maaaaaybe gave Spike a blowjob yesterday," she said. "Um, and we did a lot of, like, feeling each other up and kissing and stuff. So...yeah."

Rarity raised an eyebrow. Twilight stared at Rainbow. "...WHAT?!"

"But that's as far as it went!" Rainbow said hastily, quailing under Twilight's stare.

Fluttershy ducked her head. "Umm...I had sex with Spike right after that," she admitted, blushing. "I'm sorry, please don't hate me Twilight."

Twilight sighed. "Fluttershy...you having sex with Spike...actually makes sense, so I'll worry about that later. But Rainbow? Doing anything sexual with my brother?" She grabbed at her hair with both hands and let out a frustrated, strangled cry. "That's just...I can't even...why did..." She shook her head and looked up at Rainbow. "I mean, how does that even work when you're gay?"

Rainbow's face met the table. "WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M GAY?!"

"You're not?" Pinkie asked. "Wow. I had no idea!"

"Well that's a relief," Applejack said. "Ah don't know how many nights Ah've worried about Rainbow Runt tryin' ta break inta my bedroom an' molest me." At everyone's blank stares, she laughed. "Ah'm jokin', y'all! Truth is, Ah ain't never really cared one way or the other." She shook her head. "But hoo-wee, sounds like Spike's gettin' quite a workout!"

"WHY are all my friends suddenly screwing my brother?!" Twilight suddenly cried, throwing her hands in the air. "Did someone forget to tell me it's Screw A Dork Week? What am I missing here?"

"Hey! I didn't screw him!" Rainbow said. "I just sucked his—"

"Oral sex is still sex, Rainbow Dash," Rarity said.

Fluttershy sighed. "Girls..." She looked at Rainbow and Pinkie. "We can't keep lying to Twilight. She's our friend."

Rainbow sighed. "Yeah."

Pinkie frowned. "I never lied to Twilight. I just...didn't tell her everything." She shook her head. "Besides, I had no business reading or copying Spike's journal in the first place. None of us should ever have read any of it."

"You can say that again," Rainbow said.

"I never lied to Twilight. I just didn't tell her everything. Besides, I had no business reading or copying Spike's journal in the first place. None of us should ever have read any of it." Everyone blinked at Pinkie. "What? She said to say it again."

"What journal are y'all talkin' about?" Applejack asked.

Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow looked at one another. "Hey, this one's all on you, Pinkie," Rainbow said.

Pinkie sighed. "I snooped around in Spike's computer and read his journal, and he'd written down a bunch of sex fantasies about all of Twilight's friends. All of us. I copied it to a flash drive because I thought I could use it to play a funny prank on Spike, but...it kinda backfired. Like, twice. I ended up wanting to have sex with Spike myself, and...I kinda accidentally gave the flash drive with the journal on it to Fluttershy."

"And Rainbow and I read it," Fluttershy said, face glowing red.

Twilight's eyes widened in realization. "So that's how the two of you ended up—"

"Yeah," Rainbow said. "At first I just wanted to rip his dick off, but then..." She sighed. "Things...went someplace weird."

"Oh my," Rarity said, fanning herself.

Applejack frowned. "All of us?" she asked dangerously. "Even me?"

Pinkie sighed. "Yeah, you and Rarity too. And no, I'm not gonna tell you about any of it, because that would be really really wrong. It's bad enough I screwed up and gave Fluttershy the journal. I never meant for anybody but me to know Spike's dirty little secrets." She hung her head in shame.

Fluttershy looked around the table at her friends, eyes sad and pleading. "Please...don't do or say anything mean to Spike," she implored. "Yes, he's a pervert, but he's still a very nice, sweet boy, and a good friend. So, please...just let this go?"

Applejack shrugged. "Well heck, if Ah beat up every boy that had dirty thoughts about me, half the boys at school would be in traction." She chuckled. "Boys are gonna have dirty minds, can't do nothin' about that. Besides, you're right, 'Shy. Spike's a good kid. Ah mean, so what if he's a dirty little creep? At least he's got th' three'a y'all to get it outta his system with."

Rarity smiled. "Spike having naughty fantasies about me is hardly a surprise," she said. "I say let the boy dream."

Twilight stared around the table. "You can't be serious. You're serious? You really just want to sweep this whole thing under the rug? I mean, this is all so wrong! This is...this is a violation! It's...it's disgusting! My dorky, gross kid brother is writing out all his sick, dirty fantasies about every single one of my friends, and you're all 'oh hey, whatever'!" She stood and began pacing at the entrance to the gazebo. "How can you all just be so calm about something so completely freaking wrong?!"

"Because it never really bothered me in the first place," Pinkie said.

"Because I care very much for Spike, and can accept that he isn't perfect," Fluttershy said.

"Because...just because," Rainbow shrugged.

"Cuz it's harmless," Applejack said. "A little creepy maybe, but..."

"It's even flattering in a way," Rarity said. "And Spike is a dear, sweet boy. But boys are always going to think with their privates. That's just the way they are."

"But...! But...!" Twilight stuttered. She then slumped, groaning in frustration. "Fine! Whatever! You can all just drag him off somewhere and have a great big pervert party for all I care. I'm through talking about this!" She sat down, snatched up a fat sausage, and savagely bit it in half.

The others stared at her in shocked silence, then looked around awkwardly at one another. "So uhh...don't let all th' food get cold, y'all," Applejack said.

The mood of the party never completely recovered from Twilight's outburst. Food was eaten in near silence, and what little conversation returned was overly light and forced.

About an hour later, thunder began to rumble, and a haze of gray storm clouds cast heavy shadows on the orchards. With the impending threat of rain, the girls agreed to cut their day together short. Fluttershy helped Applejack clean up and prepare large bags of leftovers for each girl, and Rarity arranged for cabs to take them all home. Applejack made certain to give Twilight a whole, uncut pie.

As the girls waited at the farm's main driveway for their cabs, Twilight sighed. "Girls...I'm sorry. I'm just so confused and upset and shocked..." She looked around at her friends. "Applejack, you worked so hard getting all this ready for us, and I—"

"Don't fret, sugarcube," Applejack said. "Ah know you didn't mean t' raise a ruckus." She smiled. "Besides, we've still got plenty of summertime left for a get-together that don't get all crazy an' stuff."

"Hey, yeah!" Pinkie said. "We should totally go to the beach!"

"That sounds cool," Rainbow said.

"Oh! An excuse to shop for new swimwear!" Rarity said, eyes lighting up.

Twilight smiled. "Yeah, a beach day sounds great. Maybe...in a week or so?"

The girls agreed to ask their families about it, then Skype each other and set a date. The cabs arrived, and everyone went home. The last cab had just pulled out onto the main road when the skies opened up, soaking the orchards in warm summer rain.

An hour later, Applejack was cleaning up the last of the mess when her family returned. Big Macintosh looked puzzled. "Did everybody go home already?"

"Eeyup," Applejack said.

"Ah thought they were stayin' a mite longer," Big Mac said. "Did somethin' happen?"

Applejack sighed. "Our little girls-only barbecue kinda got rained out," she said.

Index
Chapter Five
Chapter Seven