PHASE X: MEMOIRS I (BECOMING HUMAN)

THE MEMOIRS OF APPLEJACK: Ah Just Don't Get Underwear

January 6

The morning after arrival

The rooster woke Applejack up. She stretched, hopped out of bed...and landed flat on her face.

"Oh, right..." she muttered. "Two legs."

There was a knock at the door, followed by Apple Bloom's voice. "Applejack! Time ta git up!" she called. She opened the door slightly, blinking at the taller girl lying on the floor. "You didn't sleep down there, did you?"

Applejack pushed herself up and stood, wobbling slightly. "Nah, just got outta bed wrong," she said.

"You slept in your clothes though," Apple Bloom said, wrinkling her nose slightly. "You should take a shower while there's still hot water."

"Uhhh, right...okay. Tell Big Mac Ah'll be down in two shakes."

Apple Bloom wandered off down the hall, and Applejack walked to the bathroom. There was a large wicker hamper beneath the linen closet; curious, she opened it. It was full of dirty clothes, some of which were fairly ripe. Shrugging, she stripped off her own clothes and stuffed them all into the hamper, including her boots and hat. She turned to the tub and started to run the water when she caught her reflection in the mirror out of the corner of her eye, and realized she was still wearing something. "Whut th'...?" She turned to fully examine herself, both in her reflection and with her hands. A somewhat rigid garment covered her upper chest, and a snug-fitting cotton garment had been underneath her skirt. She wrinkled her brow in confusion. "Now why th' hay did Ah have on more clothes under them other clothes?" She studied the thing wrapped around her chest, trying to figure out how to remove it. It didn't look like it could be slipped off over her head. She reached behind her back and felt along the strap there; after a minute of probing, she found what seemed to be a clasp. It took her a few minutes, but she finally managed to unhook it. Peeling it off, she threw it into the hamper. The other item of clothing was far easier to remove, and joined its mate in due course. She looked at her nude body in the mirror and tilted her head. "Huh. That's a right funny place for teats." Shrugging, she lowered herself into the tub and scrubbed herself down.

Several minutes later, she emerged, wet and clean, and found a towel to dry herself off with. Soon enough, she was dry. Smiling, she headed to her room, got another hat out of her closet, and headed downstairs.

Big Macintosh was at the table, glancing through the paper as he sipped his coffee. "Mornin'," he grunted. He looked up briefly. His eyes bugged out and he spat a mouthful of coffee onto the table. "GAH! Whut th' hay?!"

"Whut's wrong?" Applejack asked, tilting her head.

"Whut's WRONG?" Big Macintosh asked, panicking as he covered his eyes. "Git some clothes on!"

"Huh?" Applejack looked down at herself. "Ah didn't think we was plannin' on goin' noplace fancy."

Apple Bloom's piercing shriek made Applejack turn around. "WHUT TH' HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Apple Bloom shouted. Before Applejack could scold her for yelling or using indecent language, Apple Bloom had seized her wrist and dragged her upstairs. After a confused and painful minute of being dragged, Applejack was thrown onto her own bed, and a panting, red-faced Apple Bloom slammed the door behind her.

Apple Bloom trembled as she pointed at Applejack with a shaking finger. "WHY. ARE. YOU. NEKKID?!"

Applejack frowned. "Uhhh..."

Apple Bloom didn't wait for an answer. She rushed around the room, pulling out garments similar to the ones Applejack had just discarded from the dresser and closet, and threw them onto the bed. "Git dressed!" she commanded.

"Why's this such a big deal?" Applejack asked, frowning. "Ah mean, Ah understand dressin' up for a party...sorta...but—"

Apple Bloom stared at her. "Are you some kinda crazy nudist or somethin'?"

"Hey now," Applejack said. "Ah don't rightly care fer yer tone. An' Ah'm sure mah friends are all ready t' get some breakfast, an' Ah don't wanna keep 'em waitin'—"

"Granny'll skin you alive if you go back down there nekkid again!"

Applejack frowned. "Now just when did th' Apple family turn inta a buncha high-falutin' hoity-toity Manehattan snobs?" She shook her head. "Ah don't rightly see th' point of wearin' clothes just t' go out fer some vittles..."

"Don't see the point..." Apple Bloom repeated shakily.

"Well we sure as hay didn't back home!"

Apple Bloom's eyes widened in realization. "Wait. Ah forgot. You're a horse where you come from, ain't you?"

"Pony," Applejack corrected.

Apple Bloom facepalmed. "An' ponies don't wear clothes, do they?"

"Some do, some don't. Ah mean, wearin' dresses for a fancy party an' stuff, or havin' a few little things you like wearin' now an' then, but...in Ponyville, even th' most high-falutin' ponies—"

"Yeah yeah, okay," Apple Bloom interrupted, waving a hand at Applejack. "Well, here in this world, we wear clothes all the time. ALL. The time."

"All the time?" Applejack repeated, blinking.

"All the time. Except when you're takin' a bath or...or doin' stuff Big Macintosh'd whup mah bottom for even knowin' about." She sighed. "Look, just...git dressed."

Applejack sighed. "Well shucks, Ah feel stupid," she said. "Ah didn't know. Ah'm sorry...guess Ah'd better apologize t' Big Mac too." She picked up the skirt and blouse Apple Bloom had picked out for her, and started to put them on—

"Wait, wait," Apple Bloom said. "You gotta put on underwear first."

Applejack frowned, picking at the two smallest items on the bed. "Ah'll pass on that."

"No, you won't," Apple Bloom said. "We all wear underwear...well, we're all supposed to, Diamond Tiara goes without sometimes but she's a slut..." She shook her head. "It's just somethin' you gotta wear, okay? Trust me."

Applejack looked at the odd items dubiously. "That don't make much sense, but...Ah guess." The cotton garment that looked like small, tight shorts went on easily enough, but as she tried to put the odd assortment of stiff fabric and straps on, she ran into difficulty. "Uhh...you sure Ah gotta wear this?" she asked.

"Absolutely," Apple Bloom insisted. "Uhh...but Ah guess you ain't never even seen a bra before, huh?"

Applejack shook her head. "Nope."

Apple Bloom sighed. "Alright, Ah'll help you put it on..."

Once Applejack was fully dressed, the two girls went downstairs. "Ah just don't get all this underwear junk," Applejack said.

THE MEMOIRS OF RARITY: Fashion Clash

January 7

Two days after arrival

The sun had set, and a long, cold evening lay ahead. Rarity, wrapped in a fluffy white robe over soft silk pajamas, sat at "her" design table, looking at sketches for a number of designs. She shook her head and sighed. "What," she said.

"What's the matter?" Sweetie Belle asked from behind her. The younger girl wore flannel pajamas, and carried two mugs of cocoa, one of which she handed to Rarity.

Rarity accepted it gratefully, handling it with extreme caution, and sipped it delicately. "I just...don't understand what your world's Rarity is thinking," she said. "These designs...they're just..." She shuddered. "I don't understand them at all."

"Oh," Sweetie Belle said. "Well...Rarity's clothes are usually pretty popular, I guess. I don't really know much about the whole fashion thing. I do know that we all got sick of her trying to force those crazy boots of hers on everyone, until after the Spring Fling when her boots got popular."

Rarity looked at a rack covered with dozens of styles of gaudy boots and shuddered. "Gah."

"I wonder if she's having the same problem where she is now," Sweetie Belle said. "I mean, if you don't like her designs, maybe she feels the same—"

"BITE your TONGUE!" Rarity said, putting on an offended air. "My designs are the height of haute couture! The pinnacle of style!"

"For prissy prancing ponies," Sweetie Belle pointed out.

"Prissy? Prancing?" Rarity gasped, recoiling. "Why...you...why...just..."

"What I mean is, what ponies like to wear and what people like to wear might not be the same thing," Sweetie said. "Did you ever think of that?"

Rarity's jaw dropped. "I...suppose I didn't," she admitted softly.

"Then maybe you need to learn about people clothes," Sweetie said. "We can go shopping after school tomorrow, so you can get an idea of what people are wearing and buying..." She paused. "In the meantime..." She ran upstairs, then came back with her laptop.

"What are you—?"

"I may not know as much about fashion as Rarity, but I know the basics," Sweetie said. "I know what always looks good...what never goes out of style."

Rarity blinked. "Back to basics?" Her shoulders slumped. "Oh dear. I feel like a filly who can't even light up her horn..."

Sweetie rolled her eyes. "Gotta learn to walk before you can fly."

"Fly? I'm a unicorn, not a pegasus..."

Sweetie facepalmed. "Do you wanna learn this stuff or not?"

"Oh. Oh yes, of course. Ahem. Do go on."

Sweetie opened up her web browser and began showing Rarity a succession of clothes. "Jeans. Tight but not too skinny. Bellbottoms are NEVER cool, even when they're in style. There's no top a good pair of jeans doesn't go with."

"They look rather...confining. But...comfortable, I suppose?"

"Classic little black dress. Any girl feels sexy in one of these. Unless she's a whale."

"Oh my...that is rather tasteful."

"Qipao. The redder, the better. Silk, of course."

"How exotic! It's rather clingy, though..."

"That's the idea. It's only to be worn by women with serious curves. Now let's talk shoes..."

THE MEMOIRS OF FLUTTERSHY: Popularity

January 8

Three days after arrival

Fluttershy was at her locker, trying to remember which books she needed for her next two classes, when an unfamiliar boy walked up. "Hey babe, what's up?" he asked, grinning easily at her.

She blinked. "Oh, um...nothing?" she replied softly.

"Name's Blazing Glory," he said. "You know, you're one of the prettiest girls in this whole town."

"I am?" Fluttershy asked. "Um...thank you?"

"I was thinking...wanna get together later, maybe after school?"

"Oh...well...I..." Fluttershy stammered, hiding behind her biology book. "I don't know—"

"It's cool," Blazing Glory said easily, grinning and showing lots of teeth. "Let me know if you wanna hang." He pointed at her with an index finger and made a clicking noise with his tongue, then walked off down the hall.

"Watch out for that guy," Sunset Shimmer said, walking up behind Fluttershy. "He's kind of a creep. You can do a lot better."

Fluttershy blushed. "I'm not trying to do in the first place!"

Sunset laughed. "Live a little," she said, before wandering off to class.

"Live a little..." Fluttershy echoed.

"Um...Fluttershy?" a voice caught her attention. She turned to see a boy who seemed rather familiar.

"Thunderlane?" she asked.

The boy blinked. "You know me?"

"Well...yes...sort of..." Fluttershy said.

"Oh, cool...well..." Thunderlane cleared his throat. "I was wondering if you might like to go out sometime?"

Fluttershy started to retreat behind her hair, stammer out an evasive reply, and make a hasty retreat...

Live a little.

She leaned against the wall, casually brushing her hair out of her face. "Yes, alright," she said.

"Great!" Thunderlane said. "Um...I'll get back to you, okay? Gotta figure out when and where and everything."

"Okay," Fluttershy replied, smiling.

That afternoon, during the break before the last two classes, several boys lined up near Fluttershy's locker. She saw the line as she was heading there to exchange books, and drew back in fear. "Oh goodness..."

Live a little.

Forcing herself to straighten up, Fluttershy walked boldly to her locker. "Hello, boys," she said.

"Hey, Fluttershy!" a boy she didn't know replied.

"How's it going?"

"Want us to carry your books for you?"

"Oh...I don't think that'll be necessary," Fluttershy said. "But you're awfully sweet for offering."

"Hey, Fluttershy, are you doing anything Friday night?"

"How about tonight?"

"Do you have a date for the party Saturday?"

"Now, boys," Fluttershy said with a smile that was only slightly nervous, "there's only so much of me to go around..." She blushed. "Oh my. That came out wrong."

The boys chuckled.

"Now, I'll be more than happy to go out with...some of you," she said. "But I just can't think with all this pressure. So...maybe, if you meet me at...lunch? Or maybe at Sugar Cube Corner after school? If you come up to me one at a time, we can talk about dating."

Most of the boys dispersed, but one hung back. He had black hair with two white skunk stripes, very pale lavender skin, and a charmingly dorky smear of a mustache. "I'm Bobbi Gibson," he said. "I play bass."

"Oh. Um...yay?"

"I'm in the same band as Flash Sentry."

"Oh!" Fluttershy brightened. "You're one of Flash Sentry's friends? That's good. Flash is nice. He seems to like Twilight Sparkle a lot, too."

"Heh, yeah...you shoulda seen how bummed he was when she went back to...wherever." He shuffled his feet. "So, uh...you like music?"

Fluttershy smiled. "Why yes, I love music..."

THE MEMOIRS OF RAINBOW DASH: Periods Are Not Awesome

January 9

Four days after arrival

After the second class of the morning, the seven Equestrians met up in the hallway. Twilight noticed Rainbow Dash wincing and stopping briefly. "You okay, Rainbow?" she asked.

Rainbow grimaced. "Yeah...I'm okay," she grunted out.

"You don't look okay, sugarcube," Applejack said.

"I'm FINE!" Rainbow snapped.

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Cramps?" she asked.

"Yeah," Rainbow said. "Guess I ate something bad for breakfast or something. I'm cool."

Sunset shook her head. "I think you'd better come with me to the restroom," she said.

"I said I'm fine!" Rainbow repeated.

"Best to be on the safe side," Twilight said. "Please, trust Sunset."

Rainbow sighed. "Alright," she said. She followed Sunset to the restroom; her friends followed behind them.

Once safely in the empty girls' restroom, Sunset asked, "So, when did this start?"

"Just a little bit ago," Rainbow said.

Sunset nodded. "Do you have a maxi pad or a tampon with you?"

"A what?" Rainbow asked.

Sunset facepalmed with a groan. "Did you EVEN pay attention the other day when I explained periods?"

"Yyyyeah, not so much," Rainbow said. "Except for the part about boys wanting to have sex all the time and having to be careful about that. Everything else, I just kinda tuned out."

Twilight frowned. "Rainbow, the things Sunset told us were very important!"

Sunset shook her head. "Nice to know you're exactly as dumb as this world's Rainbow Dash," she said.

"HEY!"

"Alright, so here's the thing," Sunset said. "You're either already having your period, or you're about to. Either way, you need a pad or a tampon, and I mean right now." She raised an eyebrow. "Unless you want to walk around with blood in your panties."

"BLOOD?!" Rainbow shrieked.

"And other gross stuff," Sunset added.

"Here, Rainbow," Fluttershy said, fishing around in her purse. "I can spare a tampon." She pulled out a wrapped cylindrical object, which she handed to Rainbow.

Rainbow blinked. "Uhhh...what am I supposed to do with this?" she asked.

Sunset groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. "You've gotta be kidding..."

"Sunset," Twilight said gently, "you KNOW we didn't have anything like this in Equestria. I know Rainbow really should've been paying attention when you explained all this before, and...honestly, even after that rather thorough explanation, the entire process IS still a bit confusing..."

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Alright, alright. The rest of you get to class before the bell rings. I'll show Rainbow how to use a tampon."

* * * * *

When the girls met up later at lunch, Rainbow had the most disturbed expression on her face. She couldn't stop blushing, and she absolutely refused to look at Sunset Shimmer. "Are you feeling better now, Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked.

Rainbow shook her head. "This whole period thing is the most NOT awesome thing in the history of not-awesome things." She glanced at Sunset, shuddered, and muttered, "and I think I need an adult..."

THE MEMOIRS OF PINKIE PIE: The Internet Is For PoFun!

January 11

Six days after arrival

Pinkie kicked her bare feet idly in the air as she scrolled through her Chirper feed. She was still figuring out the whole "computer" and "Internet" thing, but her counterpart had left her detailed instructions on how to use the basics.

The other Pinkie was following every single kid at Canterlot High, even the ones she didn't like very much. Which, to Pinkie, made sense—she, after all, knew everything about everypony in Ponyville, even the ones she didn't really like, like Diamond Tiara.

Speaking of whom...

Pinkie frowned.

Pinkie sighed and clicked "Unfollow". Her feed refreshed, and she scrolled back to the top.

There was a link to a photo. Pinkie clicked out of curiosity. A picture appeared...

"EW EW EW EW!!"

It was a man's dong, with a naked Blythe doll straddling it. Pinkie quickly collapsed the photo, nauseated.

"I think that's enough Chirper for now," Pinkie said shakily. "I'm gonna look at pictures of cats now. Cute, cuddly ninja cats."

Pinkie heard a knock at the door. "Come in!" she called, craning her head around to face the door. Twilight, Rainbow, and Fluttershy walked in. She beamed brightly at them. "Hi girls!"

"Hey, Pinkie," Rainbow greeted. "Whatcha up to?"

"Oh, I'm just looking at the Internet," Pinkie said.

"Oh, I love the Internet!" Twilight said. "I've spent hours looking up information about this world on Quikipedia. It's like having lots and lots of encyclopedias at your fingertips, all cross-referenced and indexed! Fun!"

Rainbow made a loud retching noise. "Egghead."

"I hear a lot of kids at school talking about music videos they find on...what was it?" Fluttershy asked. "Something tube?"

"Huetube?" Rainbow asked.

"I guess that's it," Fluttershy said.

Pinkie turned to her computer and typed "Huetube" into her search bar. "Huh...it says 'Did you mean 'Bluetube'?" She clicked the link, and without even paying attention, clicked the very first video listed on the front page.

Once the video loaded, the girls were treated to a picture of a naked, brown-skinned girl sitting in what appeared to be a room made of ice, with the title "ASS AGE: DAWN OF THE DILDO SORES" beneath her.

"I thought people didn't go around naked in this world?" Rainbow asked, tilting her head.

"They don't," Twilight said.

"She looks really cold," Fluttershy said.

"I don't see any donkeys," Pinkie said.

And then...stuff began happening.

"Oh my," Fluttershy whispered.

Rainbow stared at the video, tilting her head. "That's...that's not supposed to go there, is it?"

"I don't think so," Twilight said, face burning.

Pinkie quickly closed the browser.

"Oh, NOW I remember!" Rainbow said. "It's not HueTube, it's EweTube." She laughed sheepishly. "My bad."

"Yeah? Well they should call that BlueTube thing EWWWWTube, because that was GROSS!" Pinkie said.

Pinkie's new mail notification beeped, and she opened her mail client. Twenty new messages had spontaneously appeared in her inbox...each and every one of them porn spam. Very explicit porn spam.

"I just wanted ninja cats," Pinkie moaned, burying her head in her hands. "Cute, cuddly ninja cats. Is that too much to ask?"

THE MEMOIRS OF TWILIGHT SPARKLE: Family

January 16

Eleven days after arrival

Twilight had just finished her homework and was settling in for a little Internet reading when Twilight Velvet dropped by. "Mom!" she exclaimed happily, hugging the older, taller woman fiercely. She backed away and blushed. "Erm. I mean—"

Velvet laughed. "It's okay. You may not be my little girl, but as far as I'm concerned, you're still...well..." She shook her head. "How are you doing? Are you settling in alright? I'm sorry I haven't been by sooner, I've just been so busy..."

"'Researching' a book?" Twilight asked with a smirk. "If you're anything like my mom, I know exactly what THAT means."

Velvet chuckled sheepishly. "I uh...yeah," she said, ducking her head. "Still, it's not like it's that much trouble to catch a plane. The good thing about being a writer is you can work anywhere!"

They moved away from the door and sat on the bed. "So, how's Dad? And Shining Armor? I wanted to call him but the other me didn't leave his number in her...phone..."

Velvet's face had fallen. Twilight looked at her. "What is it?"

"Shining Armor..." Velvet's voice hitched. "He was killed in a traffic accident three years ago."

"No..." Twilight whispered. Tears gathered in her eyes. "I..."

Velvet sniffled. "You couldn't have known." She paused. "Wait...so does that mean your Shining Armor is..." Her voice took on a hopeful note. "Still alive?"

Twilight nodded. "He's alive and happy," she confirmed. "Up until recently, he was the Captain of the Royal Guard in Canterlot. That's the capital of Equestria, by the way." She smiled. "Then, he got married to the most amazing pony, and a little while after that, Princess Celestia sent them to the Crystal Empire to rule and protect it." She beamed. "My big brother's a prince with his own kingdom!"

Velvet stared at her, eyes wide. "Shining Armor...married? And a prince?"

Twilight giggled. "I know, right?"

"Do you see him often?" Velvet asked.

"Not as often as I'd like," Twilight admitted. "Less so now that he lives in the Crystal Empire." She frowned. "And...I guess I won't see him again for thirty moons," she sighed. "It never occurred to me that...that he might not..."

Velvet hugged her. "Tell me more about him," she said. "And his wife. And your world, and what you do there..."

Twilight smiled, and talked long into the night, of Equestria, of Shining Armor and Cadance, of the Crystal Empire, and of Ponyville...

THE MEMOIRS OF SUNSET SHIMMER

Two and a half years ago...

Sunset Shimmer observed a girl wearing jeans, a red and orange striped T-shirt, and her face as she joked with two younger boys. A taller, blue-haired boy walked up to her and easily put his arm around her, grinning lazily. The girl who looked like her smiled up at him and tickled him.

Sunset lurked in the shadows, following the girl with her face around the strange city. It was well after nightfall when the girl was finally alone. As she unlocked the front door of a modest-sized house, Sunset rushed her, tackling her through the door and pinning her. The girl screamed and flailed beneath her.

"Be quiet," Sunset hissed. She sat up and rolled the girl over onto her back.

The girl looked up at her, shocked and confused. Her eyes rolled back into her head, and she fainted.

Smirking, Sunset locked the door, searched the house for other occupants, then dragged the girl into the bedroom.

* * * * *

Sunset awoke to see herself standing by the dresser, a cruel smirk on her face and a fruit knife in her hand. She screamed—or tried to. Something had been stuffed into her mouth. Her hands were tied behind her back.

"These weird...fleshy things," the other Sunset said, studying her left hand. "They take some getting used to, but...it wasn't too hard to figure out how to tie you up and gag you." She smiled. "Now...I'm going to take out your gag. Every time you scream, I'm going to peel some skin off you with this knife. Every time you don't tell me what I want to hear, I'm going to peel some skin off you with this knife. Understand?"

Sunset nodded her head, eyes wide.

"Good." The other Sunset removed her gag, then studied her face like one might examine an interesting insect. "Now...you are going to tell me everything about this world. Then, I'm going to become you. Try anything funny—ANYTHING that might make them suspicious of me, that might make me seem like I don't belong here—and I promise you'll regret it." She dug the tip of the knife into the soft flesh of Sunset's neck. "Understand?"

Sunset nodded. "Who...who are you?" she whispered.

"I'm Sunset Shimmer," the other Sunset said. "And from now on, I'm you."

After the Fall Formal...

Bruised, battered, and weary, makeup streaked from tears, Sunset slumped down the basement stairs, flicking the light switch. She slid the rickety storage rack aside, unlocked the secret door, and walked into the small room where she'd kept the version of herself indigenous to the human world for the past thirty moons.

Sunset Shimmer looked up at Sunset Shimmer. "So, did you win another crown?"

Sunset sighed and slumped into her usual chair, burying her face in her hands. She began sobbing. "I'm a monster."

Sunset said nothing.

Sunset looked up at Sunset, tears in her eyes. "I'm letting you go," she said hoarsely.

Sunset blinked. "You're what?"

"You don't deserve this. Nobody deserves this." Sunset shuddered. "I've done such horrible things..."

"What happened?" Sunset asked.

Sunset sniffled and wiped her eyes. "I...I lost everything. And...I deserved it." She looked up at Sunset, took a deep breath, and told her the story of her downfall. "You can go to the police, or...whoever you want to go to. Turn me in, tell them what I've done to you...I don't care anymore."

Sunset sighed. "No...it sounds to me like if I take my life back from you, it's gonna suck hard. Maybe even worse than this." She shook her head. "I'll go away. I'll catch a bus north, move to Vanhoover, start over there. You stole my life and you totally screwed it up...you can have it."

Sunset nodded. "Yeah...okay, that sounds fair."

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