PHASE IX: HEARTS AND HOOVES AND HANDS
The six girls from Canterlot High gradually adapted to life as ponies.
Twilight Sparkle found her magic improving bit by bit every day and spent many hours reading her way through the library, learning everything she could about Equestrian history, magic, biology, culture, and more, as well as reading every Daring Do novel.
Rainbow Dash, having more than adapted to flying, took up her double's job on the weather patrol, and found herself enjoying cloudbusting and rainmaking. She also spent a lot of time with Scootaloo, and gradually warmed up to the strange flying tortoise she'd been stuck caring for.
Pinkie Pie's life remained virtually unchanged, apart from having to spend all her non-working hours getting acquainted with every pony in town and learning their alternate life stories—and in many cases, meeting ponies for the very first time in either world.
Fluttershy readily took to caring for the various animals, and proved herself to be far more at ease with her wings than the pony Fluttershy; she was more likely to be seen flying around Ponyville than walking. She also proved more adept at handling Angel, to the rabbit's dismay. She vowed to leave her counterpart's secret knitting chamber sealed, however.
Applejack learned that farm work as a pony was completely different than farm work as a human; in some ways harder, in some ways a lot more fun. Her new pony family was a lot like her own family back home, which made the transition easier. There had, of course, been plenty of embarrassing incidents that Apple Bloom would tease her over from time to time.
Rarity wasted no time in revamping the boutique's entire line, and soon, her new style attracted attention from Hoity Toity and Prim Hemline. Hoity Toity lamented that the "original" Rarity's fashions wouldn't be seen for some time, but lauded the "new" Rarity's completely different style as "a breath of fresh air". She also quickly learned that the pony version of Sweetie Belle was a walking disaster area in ways that made her thankful for her own relatively sane (by comparison) little sister.
On the other side of the mirror, school life marched on at a sedate pace.
Twilight spent as much time alone with Flash Sentry as she did with her friends, and was rarely seen without the shimmery purple electric guitar Flash had given her. She'd also developed an interest in classic rock, and frequently strummed out bits of bluesy riffs with varying degrees of competence.
Rainbow Dash slowly adapted to her new body, and made gradual progress toward being able to play soccer without completely embarrassing herself. The rude comments from her teammates began to decrease in number, and the boys quickly learned that she had as little interest in them as her counterpart did, and was far more likely to kick them in the nuts for making lewd remarks.
Fluttershy had decided to keep the black-dyed streak in her hair, and had adopted what Sunset Shimmer liked to call a "perkygoth" style; she was now dating Bobbi Gibson exclusively, to the dismay of many.
Rarity spent much of her free time researching the fashion designs of the human world, trying to find a new style that would keep her boutique afloat (despite Sweetie Belle repeatedly assuring her that money was not a problem); she also spent quite a bit of time with her neighbor Zile, who had been inducted into the group of friends, though she spent more time with Rarity than the others.
Applejack had little difficulty in adjusting to her new life, as similar as it was to her old; her only lingering hangup was the horses on the farm, which she steadfastly refused to ride or even have anything to do with.
Pinkie Pie...was Pinkie Pie.
As January wore on into February, shops on both sides became noticeably more pink-and-red themed, with more heart shapes popping up, far more advertisements promoting chocolates, flowers, and expensive jewelry; wherever you looked, there was a definite feeling in the air:
Desperation.
* * * * *
"No, no, NO! This is ALL WRONG!" Flash shouted angrily. "'Like a ninja of love'? What the hell is that even supposed to mean?!"
"You're asking me?" Bobbi retorted. "You're the one who wrote it!"
Flash looked over the lyrics—written in his own handwriting—and facepalmed. "Gah. Last time I stay up until three in the morning working on a song." He crumpled up the paper and tossed it into the trash. "Alright, let's try this again, without the suck."
* * * * *
As Pinkie Pie made crepes for a hungry mid-morning customer, she observed Mr. Cake talking to an older stallion. She couldn't really hear what they were saying, but the older stallion was making some very emphatic hoof gestures, and Mr. Cake seemed to be trying to reassure him. After nearly ten minutes of this, Mr. Cake wrote out something on a slip of parchment, which the older stallion stamped with a fancy horseshoe. Once the stallion left, Mr. Cake wiped some sweat from his brow and poked his head into the staircase in the back to shout something at Mrs. Cake.
Finishing up her customer's order, Pinkie trotted over to Mr. Cake. "What's up?" she asked. "That looked like a pretty serious discussion."
Mr. Cake sighed. "Wedding cake order," he explained. "That guy's from Canterlot, but his daughter just moved to Ponyville to be with her fiance. They're getting married here, so her father decided to have the cake made locally so he wouldn't have to have it shipped from Canterlot. And probably because he figured a local shop would be cheaper," he muttered.
"Ooooh," Pinkie said. "I love weddings! Maybe I can help with the party planning!"
"Don't even think about it," Mr. Cake said. "Sorry, but you're almost identical to our Pinkie Pie, and...well...Pinkie Pie and Canterlot high society don't really mix. She found that out the hard way a couple years ago."
Pinkie made an 'ick' face. "High society? Yuck. You're right, I'll pass."
Mr. Cake chuckled. A moment later, Mrs. Cake trotted downstairs. "What is it, Carrot?"
"We have a special order, dear," Mr. Cake said. "A wedding cake."
Mrs. Cake blinked. "A what cake?"
"You heard me."
"Well, yes, but..." Mrs. Cake frowned. "We've...never actually tried to make a wedding cake before."
"What's the big deal?" Pinkie asked. "A cake is a cake is a cake."
"After the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness, I think we can handle a wedding cake," Mr. Cake said.
Pinkie blinked. "The what?"
Mrs. Cake chuckled. "Well, yes, that's..." She frowned. "Still, it took us months to get that cake right. How long do we have on this wedding order?"
"The wedding's on Hearts And Hooves Day," Mr. Cake said.
Mrs. Cake slumped. "Of course it is."
"Hearts And Hooves Day?" Pinkie asked.
"It's a special day for ponies who are in love," Mr. Cake explained. "And it's only two weeks away."
Pinkie blinked, then checked the calendar hanging on the wall. "On the fourteenth?" At Mr. Cake's nod, her eyes widened. "Oooooh, so it's Valentine's Day! Well, that explains all the red and pink and hearts all over town!" She giggled. "Silly me, I'd totally forgotten!"
"Valenwhat now?"
"Human version of Hearts And Hooves Day," Pinkie said offhandedly. "Okay, so we've got two weeks to make a super-awesome perfect wedding cake? Then we'd better get to work!"
* * * * *
As they did every Saturday morning, the girls got together for brunch. The location and the fare changed every weekend, but one rule was strictly followed: no boys allowed. Zile had been invited to join in on these weekend brunches, and had readily accepted.
The first day of February happened to fall on a Saturday, and found eight girls lounging around Fluttershy's apartment, dining on an assortment of flaky pastries while chatting, reading, surfing the web, or watching television.
"So, Twilight," Sunset Shimmer asked as she spread raspberry preserves on a croissant, "got any hot plans for Valentine's Day yet?"
Twilight looked up from her Bookpad, blinking. "Valenwhat?"
"Hearts And Hooves Day," Sunset said. "Same thing, anyway. Romance, candy, flowers, sappy sappy. You and Flash doing anything special?"
Twilight frowned. "Not that I know of."
"Eh, he probably just hasn't mentioned it yet," Sunset said. "That, or he's planning to surprise you by writing some corny love song." She smirked. "He pulled that one on me one time. Trust me, he should just stick to playing guitar."
"I don't really like being reminded that you used to date him," Twilight said crossly, reaching for a plain cake donut. "But...you do have a point about the songs he writes. I've poked through his songwriting notebook." She pulled a face. "It's...ick."
"Maybe he should take lessons from this guy," Pinkie cut in, turning up the volume on Fluttershy's television. On the screen was a man with long, curly brown hair, wearing a lurid yellow tropical shirt and playing an accordion. "He's really funny!" Pinkie let out a snorty giggle.
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Cheese Sandwich is a parodist, Pinkie. That's not exactly the kind of music Flash wants to write."
"Awww! But it's so much fun!"
"Isn't there going to be a Valentine's dance at school?" Zile asked. "I mean, we have one every year, but I have heard nothing of it so far..."
"Now that you mention it, Celestia hasn't said anything about the Valentine's dance at all, huh?" Sunset said, taking a bite of her croissant. "I wonder what's up with that."
At that precise moment, their phones all chimed at once with a mail notification.
"Whoa. That was weird," Applejack commented, looking slightly spooked.
Fluttershy pulled out her phone and opened it. "That IS weird," she said. "It's an e-mail from Principal Celestia, about the Valentine's Dance."
"You're kidding!" Rainbow Dash said, checking her own phone. "Huh. Fancy that."
"'To all students,'" Twilight read from her own phone, "'The annual Canterlot High Valentine's Dance will be held on Valentine's Day in the school gym at 8:00 P.M. Also, for those students in Ms. Harshwhinny's history class, Ms. Harshwhinny is taking her maternity leave ahead of schedule. We will be welcoming a new faculty member, Dr. A.K. Yearling, as her replacement. Dr. Yearling will begin teaching effective Monday.'"
Rainbow Dash perked up. "A.K. Yearling? The author of Daring Do?!"
"Calm down, Rainbow Dash," Twilight said as she put her phone away. "I've already checked up on it. This world's A.K. Yearling writes a completely different book series called Hermione Danger. It's similar to Daring Do, but so far I've only really skimmed the first book."
"Huh," Rainbow said. She pulled out her own Bookpad and browsed to the online store. "How the heck do you spell that?"
* * * * *
The Cutie Mark Crusaders had not been bothered by Diamond Tiara for quite some time, to their collective relief. Ever since the shaving incident, she'd opted to remain silent and sullen, shooting evil glares at anypony wearing a silver badge.
Membership had topped out at nine for the Ponyville branch with the addition of Dinky Doo. Ponyville had largely been spared the chaos of hyperactive little ponies running amok, as the Crusaders had been busy redesigning their clubhouse; with Big Macintosh's help, they had raised a small barn adjacent to the original clubhouse. It had taken just over a week of working after school to paint, furnish, and decorate the new clubhouse. The original was still in use; Silver Spoon had dubbed it the "Executive Administrative Suite", where the "senior members" could gather for important strategy meetings.
Having felt the urge to read a good book lately, Silver Spoon made her way to the library. As she approached, she encountered Button Mash. "Hello, Button," she said.
Button blinked. "Oh, uh, hi," he said awkwardly.
"Checking out a book?" Silver asked.
"Oh, uh...yeah, I hope. I need a strategy guide for Castlemania. I can't get past the starspiders in the Hall of Hooves."
Having nothing to say to that, Silver Spoon trotted up to the door and knocked. Spike let them in. "Hey guys," he greeted.
"Hello Spike," Silver said. "What's a good read? That isn't Daring Do?"
"Not a fan, huh?" Spike asked, chuckling. "Well, we just got some new stuff in the Romance section, if you're into that mushy stuff. Tis the season and all."
"It is?" Button Mash asked. "Oh, and, uh, strategy guides?"
"Back that way," Spike said, pointing to a rarely-touched shelf. As they browsed the shelves, Spike asked, "So, you doing anything special for Hearts And Hooves Day?"
Silver shrugged. "Don't have a coltfriend, not really looking." She paused, then cast a sly glance at Button Mash, who was busy browsing the slim selection of strategy guides. "Buuuuuuuuuuut...you just gave me a really good idea..."
Spike looked back and forth between the two. "Huh? What, him? I didn't figure he'd be your type..."
"Not for me!" Silver hissed. "But there's this rumor going around about Button Mash and Sweetie Belle..."
Spike blinked. "Whoa. Seriously?"
Silver grinned. "Say, Spike...how'd you like to help out with a little matchmaking scheme?"
"Nuh-uh, count me out," Spike said frantically. "Get the other Crusaders to help, I'm not getting mixed up in that."
"Oh, you're no fun," Silver huffed.
Button suddenly began wailing. "YOU MEAN I GOTTA GO BACK TWO WHOLE STAGES?! HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH..."
Spike winced. "Yeah...good luck."
* * * * *
When the girls parted ways for the afternoon, Zile met up with her friend Krystal to do some shopping.
"So, what's new with the horse club?" Krystal asked.
Zile sighed. "Would you please stop calling them that? Even I don't think it's funny."
"Sorry." Krystal cast about for another subject. "So, Noteworthy broke up with...whatever her name was. Rumor has it he's hoping to hook back up with you."
"Not really interested," Zile said. "Besides, there is already someone I..."
Krystal stopped in her tracks and turned to face Zile directly. "Oh no. Not this again. Especially not now."
"Why? Just because she's...changed?"
Krystal sighed. "Even putting...that...aside, you realize this is gonna go over like a lead balloon, right? And then things will just be awkward from now on." She shook her head. "How many times do I have to tell you what a huge mistake it'd be?"
Zile frowned. "I will never know for sure until I try." She stepped around her friend and walked briskly.
Krystal sighed and hurried to catch up with her. "This will NOT end well," she muttered to herself.
* * * * *
After Silver had finished browsing, she trotted over to Button. "Say, are you hungry?" she asked. "I'm in the mood for a milkshake."
"I love milkshakes!" Button said. He nosed through his saddlebags. "And I think I've got just enough allowance left to have one."
"Oh, it'll be my treat," Silver said. "I wanted to talk with you about something."
"You need my expert help with a game you're stuck on? Or you want to know the coolest games to buy?"
"Not...so much," Silver said. "Just come with me, I'll explain at the cafe."
Ten minutes later, the two were sitting at Silver Spoon's favorite outdoor cafe, with large chocolate malts topped with whipped cream in front of them. "So, rumor has it you spend time with Sweetie Belle now and again."
Button tilted his head. "Well...wait, you mean outside of the Crusaders?"
"Yeah."
"Eh..." Button thought about it. "There WAS that one time we had milkshakes together. I mean, we weren't really together together, we just kinda ended up at the same table. And I got a bad brainfreeze." He paused. "Oh, and I taught her how to play Minedigger. Sometimes I'm her backup while she digs for stuff."
"So, you wouldn't say you're her coltfriend or anything," Silver said slyly.
Button paused in mid-slurp. "Ehh...co...colt...friend?" His head tilted ninety degrees. His beanie slid askew and stopped spinning.
Silver giggled. "I think you'd make a pretty cute couple..."
"Me and Sweetie Belle, huh..." Button trailed off, sipping his malt as he gazed upward, drifting away into a daydream...
The unicorn filly lay on the ground, weeping in despair. Thunder rumbled, lightning split the sky, and rain poured down, drenching her mane and coat.
A second rumble drowned out the thunder, and a bright light tore through the gloom. Sweetie Belle looked up to see a motorcycle approaching. It rumbled to a stop a few feet away, and a large, muscular figure dropped to the ground, hooves clad in steel-soled leather boots clanking on the ground as he approached.
Sweetie looked up. The bike's headlight, combined with a sudden bright flash of lightning, illuminated a large, muscular brown stallion with a fiery red mane. He wore a heavy black leather jacket and the coolest pair of shades she'd ever seen. He reached a hoof out to her.
"Come with me if you want to love," he said.
"Button? You're...drooling in your milkshake."
Button blinked. "Huh, whuzzah?" He snorted, inadvertently inhaling creamy chocolate malt goodness up his nose. "OH! AGH! OW! AAAAHHH!" He fell off his chair and rolled around on the floor, coughing and snorting and moaning.
Silver stared at him. "This...may not be as easy as I'd hoped..."
* * * * *
"Oh man, I'm so excited!" Rainbow Dash said Monday morning, as the girls approached the school. "Having A.K. Yearling as a teacher is gonna be SO awesome!"
Twilight frowned. "Uhh...Rainbow Dash? You're in Mr. Waddles' history class. You're not getting Dr. Yearling."
Rainbow froze, left eye twitching. "Oh, ponyfeathers..."
Pinkie patted Rainbow on the shoulder. "Cheer up, Dashie! History's a boring class no matter WHO teaches it!"
After lunch, Twilight, Pinkie, and Rarity filed into history class. The new teacher sat at the desk. She wore a khaki outfit, and her dark hair was streaked with several shades of silver and grey. Once the bell rang, she did a quick headcount, eyes flicking from the class roster to the full seats, then stood and cleared her throat.
"Good afternoon, kids. I'm Dr. Yearling, and I'll be teaching here for a while. I know what you're thinking: 'wow, she looks JUST like Hermione Danger!'. Well, of course I do. I modeled her after myself. But we're not here to talk about me and my books. We're here to talk about history." She picked up a clipboard and scanned it. "It seems Ms. Harshwhinny was covering Ancient Capranubia with this class." She frowned thoughtfully. "Okay. Here's a quick question: why did the Capranubians worship cats?" She waited for all of five seconds before adding, "Because they lived in a giant litterbox." Throwing the clipboard aside, she walked around her desk, leaned backward against the front, and grinned. "Now let's talk about something fun."
* * * * *
The six teens-turned-pony gathered for dinner at a small cafe near Sugar Cube Corner. While their palates were adjusting to the normal Equestrian diet, they still preferred to eat things that didn't include hay and flowers; luckily, food they recognized was in no short supply.
"You look plumb tuckered out, Pinkie Pie," Applejack commented as she tore a fresh, hot, steaming roll in half and took a bite.
Pinkie gulped down a glass of carrot juice before replying. "The Cakes have a big important order and not much time to get it right, so I'm doing more of the normal work than usual right now. Even for me it's hard work!"
"An important order?" Twilight asked.
"Some Canterlot bigwig ordered a cake for his daughter's wedding," Pinkie said. "Since his daughter lives here in Ponyville and all."
"Oh, THAT wedding!" Rarity said. "I've been hard at work on the dresses for the bride and bridesmaids." She took a dainty bite of a cucumber sandwich. "I must say, it's a challenge. I've never designed a wedding dress before, and I'm still getting used to...well, you know."
"Yeah, the Cakes have the same problem. I mean, about never making a wedding cake before," Pinkie said. "They wanna get the recipe just right, and they only have until Hearts And Hooves Day."
"Hearts and what now?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Valentine's Day," Pinkie amended.
"Oh. Bleah," Rainbow said, making a face.
"What? You don't like Valentine's Day?" Fluttershy asked. "I think it's lovely...even though I've never had a boyfriend..."
"All I ever get are cheap cards and useless flowers from sweaty guys whose idea of a good time involves the back seat of their car," Rainbow said. "Not that I'm big on all that love and romance and stuff."
Applejack's brow furrowed in thought. "Ah wonder if them other usses left behind boyfriends here."
"Nope," Pinkie said. "Other-Pinkie's notebook said no special someponies." She toyed with her plate. "Kinda sucks we're all in the same boat, huh?"
The six mares looked at one another, sighed, and flagged down a passing waiter to order a lot of chocolate.
* * * * *
Zile was headed for the library during her free period when she was flagged down in the hall by the music teacher, Ms. Heartstrings. "Do you have a few minutes, Zile?" Ms. Heartstrings asked.
"Of course," Zile replied. She followed Ms. Heartstrings to the teachers' lounge. Ms. Sweetdrops, the home ec teacher, was sitting there drinking coffee. A hand mixer lay on the table in front of her.
"Told you she had a free period," Ms. Heartstrings said.
"So you did," Ms. Sweetdrops said. She looked up at Zile. "Sorry to trouble you, but is there any way you can fix this mixer?"
"I can certainly take a look at it," Zile said, having a seat at the table and pulling the tools she always carried with her out of her bag. She opened the mixer up, poked around inside, and nodded. "I see the problem. This will only take a minute." True to her word, Ms. Heartstrings barely had time to put on a fresh pot of coffee before Zile had put the mixer back together, plugged it into a spare outlet, and tested it. It whirred merrily along.
"Thank you, Zile," Ms. Sweetdrops said. "You're a life saver."
"Would you like some coffee?" Ms. Heartstrings asked. "Least we could do to thank you."
"Thank you, I would love a cup," Zile said. She sat down, and a few minutes later, she and the two teachers each had a fresh, hot cup of coffee. As she sipped her coffee, she glanced at the matching rings the two teachers wore. She frowned thoughtfully. "Would you mind if I asked for some advice?"
"Certainly," Ms. Heartstrings said. "What's up?"
Zile stirred her coffee as she collected her thoughts. "There is...someone I have had a crush on for some time."
Ms. Heartstrings raised an eyebrow. "When isn't there?" she asked. "I mean, no offense, but even us teachers know how fast you go through boyfriends."
Zile shrugged. "I enjoy flirting and dating. I just get bored with boys very quickly. But this...is different. This is a more serious crush."
"Okay...so what's the problem?"
"It...is a bit complicated," Zile said. "I am not sure if she would be interested."
The two teachers looked at one another, blinking. "Okay, didn't see THAT coming," Ms. Heartstrings said.
"There is more," Zile said.
"This should be good," Ms. Sweetdrops muttered.
"This girl...I have had a crush on her for some time," Zile said. "I came home from Saddle Arabia to find she is...no longer here. She left while I was away."
"Well that sucks," Ms. Heartstrings said. "Long-distance relationships are hard enough, without having to confess AND come out by phone or text or whatever."
"That is not exactly the problem," Zile said. "You see, she is gone...and yet she is here. And my feelings have not changed, despite the situation."
The two teachers traded a confused look. "Huh?"
Zile took a sip of coffee, grimaced, and said, "I am speaking of one of the girls involved in the...exchange."
Ms. Heartstrings blinked. "You mean the pony portal thing?"
Zile nodded. "I had strong feelings for her before. And now, her counterpart...she is the same in many ways, yet different in so many others...and if anything, I feel I am falling harder for her now."
Ms. Heartstrings looked at Ms. Sweetdrops, who shrugged helplessly. "Well...okay...I guess all you can really do is maybe give her something for Valentine's, tell her how you feel, and hope for the best?" The music teacher ran a hand through her hair. "It's the best advice I can give you. Neither of us are really good at romance. We just sort of...happened. By accident, almost."
"Don't tell the students things like that!" Ms. Sweetdrops snapped, face red.
Zile chuckled. "I think you've helped me just by listening," she said. "I suppose what I needed most was to talk it out. So, thank you both. And for the coffee."
"Glad we could help."
As Zile left, Ms. Sweetdrops sighed. "This won't end well."
"I just hope Rarity's dad doesn't have a shotgun," Ms. Heartstrings said. "That was NOT a fun day."
* * * * *
Button Mash's hooves tapped away mindlessly at the controls of his Joy Boy as he engaged in his favorite "deep thought" activity: Squaretris. It didn't require much attention to the game to reach level five or six hundred; the soothing rhythm of blocks falling into place and lines flashing and vanishing left him free to think about other things.
Silver Spoon had planted a seed in his mind, and it was quickly growing into a marshmallow forest.
"HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUH!" Button cried. He failed to notice the cheerful little bliptune playing from the Game Over screen of Squaretris.
"Really? Only level 486? I thought I raised you to be l33t."
Button turned to see his mother standing behind him. He immediately leapt at her and latched himself to her, wailing. "MOOOM! Help me! I don't know anything about girls! Everything I know about girls is from dating sims and I always lose and why do they always have 'put it in' on the menu when it's ALWAYS an instant game over and I just know Sweetie Belle would never go out with a loser like me because I can't even get fake Sweetie Belle to go out with me in my fantasy!"
Button's mother blinked repeatedly. "Um. Okay. I...get the impression there's a filly you want to ask out for Hearts And Hooves Day?"
Button nodded, sniffling and wiping his eyes.
His mom smiled and patted him on the head. "Oh, silly. You just need to give her a nice card, maybe a little candy, and ask her to have dinner with you someplace nice!"
"You think...you think it'll really work?"
"The worst that can happen is she'll say no," Button's mom said, smiling. "And yes, that won't feel very good, but it won't be the end of the world. Now, go wash up for dinner, and you can tell me all about this filly you like." She frowned. "Also, I'm taking away those dating sims. You're way too young for those."
* * * * *
Valentine's Day dawned clear and cold. The halls of the school were decorated with festive pink and red streamers and dozens of heart-shaped balloons. Messengers from the faculty office were run ragged delivering large bouquets of flowers and mylar balloons to various Valentine recipients. At the beginning of each class, cards and gifts were hurriedly exchanged. Some were received warmly, others were received with a bare minimum of politeness. Still others were rebuffed in a humiliating way.
Only a few classes proceeded as though the holiday didn't exist. Many teachers bowed to the inevitable and conducted Valentine's-themed lessons or just put on a movie, with quite a few passing out cheap chocolates and chalky candy hearts. Hoity Toity decided to have his class perform select scenes from Romeo and Juliet; he chose Scootaloo to play Romeo and Pinkie Pie to play Juliet. To say things ended badly would be an understatement; the class dissolved into general horseplay after Pinkie Pie took one look at the script, threw up, and spent the rest of the period chasing Hoity Toity around the stage with a giant mallet. Dr. Yearling prepared a lesson on historic battles and famous murders that involved love. Family Planning consisted of a lecture on safe sex that got entirely out of control and ended with the teacher hiding under her desk in tears after accidentally revealing some details about her own love life that nobody really wanted to hear.
Even lunch had a decidedly more romantic bent to it, as various couples were seated together and the cafeteria had a romantic decor. More Valentine cards and gifts were being exchanged. Twilight and Fluttershy elected to sit with their respective boyfriends rather than with their group. Zile was unusually pensive; when Rarity asked her what was wrong, she became somewhat flustered. She also seemed somewhat pained when an unfamiliar boy approached the table and gave Zile flowers and a card. A quick exchange of whispered words, and he slunk away wearing a frown.
Halfway through lunch, Flash and Bobbi excused themselves, and around the cafeteria, the other members of their band rose from their seats as well. The drummer and keyboardist rushed outside, and a few minutes later returned with two steamer trunks, from which they quickly unloaded and set up equipment. The students buzzed with curiosity.
Flash tuned his guitar, plugged into an amp, and nodded to his drummer, who counted off the beat. He then laid into the intro of a song Twilight had never heard him play before.
Every time I see your smile it makes me feel so weak
And I can't help feelin' nervous
'Cause to me you're like a Venus!
Miracle girl, since the day you fell into my world
I was dying in the desert, now I'm drownin' in your love, yeah!
Just wanna let you know I'll never let you go, girl
Every day in every way, you're makin' me so crazy for you!
Don't you know you rock my world with everything you do
When we're standin' eye to eye
If it's really just a dream please say it isn't so
Don't you know, know, know?
It's love!
When I see your eyes it's like I'm starin' at the sun
And I'm burnin' in your fire, yeah I'm burnin' with desire!
And when you leave it's like the day turns into night
Make the shadows go away, girl, fill the dark up with your love, yeah!
When you're around, that's when I really feel alive!
Your style, your smile, every day I'm mad about you!
Don't you know you rock my world with every word you say
Can't you feel me heart to heart?
If it's really just a dream please say it isn't so
Don't you know, know, know?
It's love!
Every day before I met you doesn't mean a thing to me!
We'll be together no matter what life brings, it's our destiny!
Never let you go, never go away, gonna stay here right here by your side!
There's only happy times ahead so long as we can be together!
Don't you know you rock my world with everything you do
When we're standin' eye to eye
If it's really just a dream please say it isn't so
Don't you know, know, know?
Don't you know you rock my world with every word you say
Can't you feel me heart to heart
If it's really just a dream please say it isn't so
Don't you know, know, know?
It's love!
The cafeteria erupted into applause as the last note faded. Twilight was practically glowing red.
"That was for you, Twilight," Flash said as he unslung his guitar and his band started taking down their equipment. "It was from Bobbi to Fluttershy too, since he helped me write it, but it was mostly for Twilight." A huge 'awww' and several chuckles rose from the student body as Flash headed back for his seat.
Twilight smiled at him. "Oh, Flash," she said. "That was...really really bad. But I loved it anyway. Thank you."
* * * * *
The school day had been a tortured mess of awkward colts approaching fillies with sweets and flowers and cards and students piling tokens of affection on Cheerilee's desk. Button held out until after school, not wanting to humiliate himself in front of everypony.
Once school ended, Button Mash trotted up behind Sweetie Belle and her friends. Silver Spoon noticed him and gave him a sly, encouraging smile. "Say, Apple Bloom," she said, "I could use some help hauling all my Hearts And Hooves Day gifts home."
"Huh? But...you only got some candy and like, three cards," Apple Bloom said.
"And the candy's given me a sugar crash!" Sil said, throwing a hoof over her eyes and tottering in place. "I can't POSSIBLY make it home with these heavy saddlebags now!" She moaned for dramatic effect. "So I need you and Scootaloo to help me."
"Huh? Why me?" Scootaloo asked.
"Because I'll share my candy with you, that's why," Sil said. "Now hurry up, you two!" She tilted her head emphatically behind them. Apple Bloom turned, blinked, and suddenly understood.
"Huh? Oh! Uh, yeah. Sure. Ah'll help you get home, Sil. Scootaloo, let's walk Sil home. Umm...Sweetie Belle, you just...we'll see you later." The three fillies trotted off, Scootaloo more slowly and looking doubtful.
Sweetie blinked. "What was THAT all about?"
Button cleared his throat. "Umm...Sweetie Belle?"
Sweetie turned around. "Oh," she said simply, her pupils contracting to pinpricks.
Button rooted around in his bag and pulled out a card and a small, wrapped package. "Umm...this is for you," he said.
"For me?" Sweetie asked. Her horn sparked green, and a pale aura limned the proferred items. She levitated the card to eye level and opened it. It was hoof-made, and depicted a little figure made of blocky squares that Sweetie assumed was supposed to be her, standing at the top of a crooked stack of girders next to a big, angry-looking brown block blob. A tiny blocky-square Button Mash was at the bottom, and a big sloppy cutout heart had been glued to the opposite face of the card. Sweetie tilted her head at it quizzically.
Button rubbed the back of his neck. "Aheh...yeah...it's all I could think of."
"It's...nice?" Sweetie said. She then unwrapped the other package to reveal a chocolate bar in the shape of a game controller. Her ears twitched. "Thank you, Button."
"Wait, there's more!" Button said. "Umm...I wanted to ask you if you maybe want to have dinner with me tonight..." He poked at the ground with a hoof. "It's okay if you don't wanna though, I mean..."
Sweetie blinked. "You're...asking me out? Like on a date?"
"Uuuuhhhhhh...uh-huh..."
Sliding the card and candy into her own saddlebags, Sweetie smiled. "Sure, I don't mind." She paused. "Just...no milkshake races, okay?"
Button laughed nervously. "Deal. Wait...you said yes? Really?" At Sweetie's nod, he began to vibrate, the propeller on his beanie spinning faster and faster. "Gottagogetreadyseeyouatsixthanksfornotlaughingatmeandrunningawaybye!"
As he tore off at full gallop, Sweetie giggled. "Well, he is pretty cute. Dorky, but cute."
* * * * *
The Valentine's Dance was a formal affair with soft, romantic music and subdued lighting. Sunset Shimmer, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash chose not to attend, while Pinkie Pie spent most of the dance hanging out with Vinyl Scratch and making sure everybody had enough punch and heart-shaped sugar cookies. Twilight spent the entire evening in the company of Flash, while Fluttershy danced with a few boys other than her boyfriend, though she always went back to him after. Rarity didn't do much dancing, choosing instead to simply watch everyone have a good time; she herself only attended because it was an opportunity to wear a dazzling dress.
She was watching Twilight and Flash perform a clumsy, awkward slow dance when Zile approached. "Would you care to dance, Rarity?" she asked.
Rarity blinked. "You're...asking me to dance? But...we're both girls..."
"There is no rule against two girls dancing. Besides, I have danced with every boy I care to dance with."
Rarity chewed her lip for a moment, then shrugged. "I suppose there's no harm in it." She rose and walked out onto the floor with Zile, who expertly lead her through two songs. Once the music changed to something faster, they sat back down.
"You're quite an accomplished dancer, Zile," Rarity observed.
"I have had much practice," Zile said. She smiled. "Thank you for dancing with me."
The remainder of the evening passed without incident, as couples tired of dancing and retreated to the tables to relax and chat with friends. Twilight, Flash, Fluttershy, Bobbi, and Pinkie joined Rarity and Zile. If any of Rarity's friends had seen her dancing with Zile, they didn't say anything about it, and the group chatted lightly and enjoyed themselves until the last song was announced. Rarity agreed to dance the last song with Zile.
After the dance, the two girls walked home together. Rarity was about to say goodnight to Zile and head for her own door when Zile stopped her.
"Rarity," she said, reaching into her purse, "This is for you." She handed Rarity a small, red foil envelope. Blinking, Rarity opened it; inside was a card that said simply, in elegant script:
Please be mine.
"Zile, what—"
Rarity was cut off as Zile seized her suddenly and kissed her desperately. Rarity's eyes widened; she was too stunned to do anything except stand there and be kissed by a girl she barely knew.
After far too long for Rarity's comfort, Zile released her and stepped back. She ducked her head, turned, and fled into her own home. Shellshocked, Rarity did likewise, locking the door of the boutique behind her and heading listlessly up to her own room, where she promptly fainted on her bed.
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