PHASE IV: WELCOME TO THE HERD
As usual, the Apple family was up bright and early. Apple Bloom had milked the cows and collected eggs from the chicken coop shortly after sunrise, and a half hour later the family sat down to a large breakfast of farm-fresh eggs, grits, and hay bacon strips. Applejack dug in with gusto. "T'ain't at all different from back home," she said. "Exceptin' this bacon. Y'all's bacon tastes jest a mite off."
"Really?" Apple Bloom asked, sniffing at a strip of bacon on her plate. "Smells okay to me. Big Mac, ain't this the same hay bacon as always?"
"Eeyup."
Applejack spat out a mouthful of milk. "Hay bacon?!" she asked.
"Well, yeah," Apple Bloom said. "Why, don't y'all got hay bacon in your world?"
"Well, we've got bacon," Applejack said. "T'ain't made outta hay, though."
"Really? What IS it made out of?" Apple Bloom asked.
Applejack started to answer, paused, looked at the curious little filly, and bowed her head to her plate. "Y'all really don't wanna know," she said, slurping up the hay bacon and chewing thoughtfully. "Hmm. Ain't too bad, actually." She paused for a sip of milk. "So, whut all we gotta do today?"
Big Macintosh frowned. "Well, there ain't never no shortage o' chores, but...you sure you're up to it just yet?"
Applejack snorted upward, stirring her bangs. "Just 'cuz Ah ain't y'all's Applejack, don't mean Ah ain't Applejack. An' y'all oughtta know that means Ah'm always up fer some chores. Now, Ah know there's gotta be all kinda stuff t' do. If'n y'all's farm is anythin' like th' farm back home, Ah reckon there's a whole mess'a stuff that needs fixin'."
"Eeyup," Big Macintosh said. "If you're sure you're up for workin' today, Ah could use a hoof with th' fence on the southwest side."
"Lemme guess. Pulled up posts, torn up bobwire?"
"Eeyup," Big Macintosh replied, blinking. "How'd you know?"
Applejack rolled her eyes. "Ever blessed year we get at least one storm that tears up our fence somethin' fierce."
Apple Bloom blinked. "Y'all's weather teams blow down y'all's fences?"
Applejack shot the filly a confused look. "Weather teams? Huh?"
Big Macintosh intervened. "Apple Bloom, Ah'm thinkin' in her world, th' weather don't work the same as it does here." To Applejack, he explained, "Here in Equestria, pegasus ponies control th' weather. Ain't no rains or winds or thunderstorms or even snow that don't come straight outta Cloudsdale."
Applejack stared at him. "You wouldn't be pullin' mah leg, wouldja?"
"Nnnnope."
"You mean y'all control th' weather? Make it do what y'all need it t' do?"
"Eeeeyup."
"Well. Hot dang. If that don't beat all." She paused. "So then how did y'all's fence get tore up?"
"Stampede," Big Macintosh snorted. "Durn cows'll help make a mess, but you think they'd lift a hoof t'fix one? Nnnnnnope."
* * * * *
By seven-fifty, the six Equestrian "transfer students" stood just outside the gates of Canterlot High. Twilight and Pinkie Pie were bright-eyed and raring to go, but Fluttershy looked as though she might break down crying or run and hide any minute, Rarity had a glazed look in her eyes, Applejack had a look of dread on her face, and Rainbow Dash had bags under her eyes and a terrible case of bedhead.
Twilight frowned. "What's up with YOU girls?"
Rarity groaned. "I was up half the night trying to learn how to thread a needle without hurting myself," she said tonelessly. She held up a hand; her fingers were an absolute mess.
"Oh my goodness," Fluttershy said as she saw this. Forgetting her own nervousness, she dug a box of bandages out of her purse and quickly set to work bandaging Rarity's fingers.
Twilight rolled her eyes. "And you, Rainbow?"
"Overslept," Rainbow Dash said, yawning hugely. "Do we really gotta do this stupid school thing, Twi?"
"Yes. We do," Twilight insisted firmly. "By order of Princess Twilight Sparkle, we are ALL going to school."
Rainbow Dash groaned. "Figures the very first royal decree you'd ever make would be about egghead stuff."
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "You do know there are multiple sports teams here, and you're—well, the other you is—the captain of every single one of them, right?"
Rainbow Dash perked up. "That does sound awesome..."
Twilight chuckled. "And you, Applejack?"
The farmgirl sighed. "Ah never was much for schoolin'," she admitted. "Ah ride Apple Bloom about her report card, but to tell th' honest truth, about th' only thing Ah ever passed in school was gas."
"Oh, come ON, everypony!" Pinkie cried, bouncing up and down on the spot. "This is gonna be so much awesome fun!"
"Pinkie's right!" Twilight said, eyes bright and shining. She began to twirl on the spot, purple skirt flaring about her hips as she looked up at the gleaming horse statue that dominated the front lawn.
This is our first day
At our exciting new school
Oh I'm so excited!
Is it really all that cool?
But Ah'm a grown mare, an' this school stuff's for fillies!
But it's fun!
No, it's boring!
This is scary...
Ah feel silly!
Don't frown! Don't be down! I know you'll come around!
If you just—
"First bell's at 8:15 and you still have to get your schedules from Principal Celestia," Sunset Shimmer interrupted, having arrived unnoticed shortly after Twilight started singing.
Twilight let out a yelp. "Come on girls, we'd better hurry!"
* * * * *
"Thank you for making breakfast, Spike," Twilight said.
"Yeah, you rock, little guy!" Rainbow Dash replied.
"Heheh, no problem," Spike said as he collected the dishes to wash. "So, what are your plans for today?"
"I really need to learn how to do magic," Twilight said. "From what I've heard, I don't think Pony-Me can even wipe her hiney without magic."
"Wipe her...?" Spike wondered, blinking. "You know what, nevermind." He shook his head. "Anyway, I think I know just what book might help you. But I gotta warn you, it's written for little colts and fillies, so it might be a bit embarrassing to read..."
"Oh, I don't mind that," Twilight said, waving a hoof. "If it'll help me learn to use my horn, that's good enough for me."
"Right, I'll go pull it down for you after I finish the dishes," Spike said. "How about you, Rainbow Dash?"
The pegasus blinked. "I'm not really sure," she admitted. "I—"
There was a knock at the door. Exchanging confused glances, the two mares trotted out into the main library. "Come in?" Twilight called, slightly uncertain.
The door opened to reveal a pale blue pegasus stallion with a dark blue mane and tail. He was wearing some sort of blue and yellow costume which covered most of his body, and had a pair of goggles perched on his forehead. He favored them with an easygoing smile. "Mornin'," he said. "I heard Rainbow Dash was staying here until she gets used to her wings."
"That's right," Dash replied, blinking. "Umm...do I know you?"
The stallion chuckled. "Well, the other Rainbow Dash certainly does! I'm Soarin, of the Wonderbolts."
"Wonderbolts?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"We're an aerial stunt flying team," Soarin explained. "The most elite pegasus ponies in Equestria. Rainbow Dash is in our Academy." He grinned. "She's pretty awesome."
"Well, of course she is," Rainbow Dash said. "Any version of me has to be awesome. It's like a rule or something."
Soarin laughed. "Anyway, me and some of the others are curious about you, because this whole other-world thing sounds like a blast, but when I heard that you can't fly yet, I just had to drop everything and come to Ponyville." He ruffled his wings. "Soon as you're ready, come outside, I'll teach you how."
"Awesome!" Rainbow Dash said. "Later, Twi!"
As the two pegasi left, Twilight smiled and turned to find Spike waving a book at her. "Study time!" the little dragon said.
"You know, Spike," Twilight said, "I think life here is going to be great." She opened up the book, blithely ignoring its title (It's Okay To Play With Your Horn), and began to study the first lesson in unicorn magic.
* * * * *
"Good morning, girls," Celestia said. "How was your weekend?"
"It was...interesting," Twilight said.
"Well, I hope you're ready to find out just what it is girls your age do here," Celestia said. She passed two sheets of paper to each girl. "Here are your class schedules, as well as a map of the school for each of you. Now, while you will be taking the place of your counterparts from this world, you needn't worry too much about keeping their grades up. It's unfair of us to expect you to possess the same knowledge as the girls who you're substituting for, after all. However, I do expect you all to try your best at everything you do while here at Canterlot High."
"We won't disappoint you, Principal Celestia," Twilight said.
"I know you won't," the principal said with a kindly smile. "Now, your counterparts were instructed to leave all their schoolbooks in their lockers, and you'll find your locker number and combination written on your schedules. Your first class is in..." She glanced at the clock on the wall. "...five minutes. I suggest you get going."
As soon as the girls left, they compared their schedules. "Hmm," Twilight said, "looks like each of us has a class with at least one of the others at least twice a day. That's good."
"Whut's it like, goin' t' classes here?" Applejack asked.
Twilight rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "I...really wish I knew," she admitted. "The last time I was here, I, uh...never actually went to any classes?"
The others stared at her. "You," Rainbow Dash said incredulously. "Twilight Sparkle. THE egghead of Equestria. Whose entire life has revolved around studying. You came to another world, spent three days in a school the size of Canterlot Palace...and you didn't go to class?"
Twilight shrugged. "I was busy."
* * * * *
Fluttershy hummed happily to herself as she trotted around her counterpart's adorable little cottage, cheerfully feeding and nuzzling dozens of cute creatures. "Oh my goodness...you're all so fuzzy and wonderful and cuddly and adorable..." She turned to Angel Bunny. "Is this really what Ponyshy does all day long? Just takes care of cute animal friends and plays with them?"
Angel gave her a shrug and a nod which she took to mean "Pretty much."
Fluttershy's wings rustled happily. "I'm so going to love it here."
* * * * *
Fluttershy and Rarity had biology for first period.
"Alright, class, settle down. Now, if you'll just turn to page 104 in your text, we'll continue with last week's lesson on monotremes. And as it so happens, I brought a live specimen for the entire class to look at..." The teacher paused, looking into the empty cage on one of the countertops circling the room. "Hey, where's my platypus?"
* * * * *
Pinkie Pie smiled broadly at the wall-eyed pegasus mare who'd just trotted up to the counter. "Here you go, Derpy! One blueberry muffin, one banana nut muffin, and one chocolate muffin!" She placed a paper bag on the counter; the pegasus happily dropped her bits on the counter, reverently took the bag, and left.
Mrs. Cake blinked at the exchange. "She didn't even order! And you haven't even met her since you came here from the other world! How—"
"Eh, I had a hunch." Pinkie shrugged.
* * * * *
Pinkie Pie sat attentively in first period Theater Arts. The teacher was flamboyantly dressed; the stage lights reflected blindingly off of his platinum-blue hair and purple sunglasses. He clapped for attention, and the class settled down.
"Well," he said. "As I'm sure you all remember, our last rehearsal was rather dismal, some might even say it was garbage, and now our lead has run off to some magical fantasy pony world and left us with a girl who hasn't even read the script, and it's three days until you perform for your exam." He produced a large folding paper fan from his jacket and fanned himself. "What a dilemma."
Everyone turned to Pinkie Pie, giving her a variety of looks ranging from encouragement to consternation to open hostility. She grinned hugely. "Re-laaaaax, everybody! Plays are fun, and I'm the bestest of the bestest at fun things! I'll learn the script thingie in plenty of time for the exam!"
"Well...if you're sure," the teacher said.
"You can count on me, Mr. Toity! Pinkie promise!"
"Mmm...oh, very well." Hoity Toity tossed a script to the hyperactive pink pony. As she looked at the title, he added, "You'll be playing the part of Utena..."
* * * * *
Rarity stared around "her" workroom, nervously trotting in place as she studied the ponnequins bearing half-finished dresses, the enormous bolts of rolled fabrics, the trunks of fabulous gems, and the design sketches spread out on the work tables around the room. She chewed at her lip, tears welling in her eyes.
Sweetie Belle trotted in and tilted her head at Rarity. "What's wrong?" she asked.
Rarity blinked. "Sweetie Belle? Shouldn't you be at school?"
"I asked Miss Cheerilee to let me stay home today and help you get settled in," Sweetie said. "And you look like you could use it."
Rarity sighed. "I just...it just hit me that I don't know the first thing about making clothes for ponies," she said. "Or what the styles are, or...actually, now that I think about it, I haven't even seen ponies wearing clothes since we left the Crystal Empire!"
"Yeah, it's pretty much only the super-elites that wear clothes all the time," Sweetie said. "The rest of us only really bother for special occasions, like weddings or Nightmare Night."
Rarity frowned. "Then how does my counterpart stay in business?"
"Fancy ponies pay a lot of money," Sweetie said.
"I'm also a bit nervous about, well..." Rarity ducked her head, examining one of her counterpart's finished dresses on a ponnequin in the corner. "I'm sorry, it's just these dresses are so gaudy, and...is this really what's in style here?"
"Well, Hoity Toity buys big orders from Rarity all the time, so—"
Rarity blinked. "Hoity Toity? The drama teacher?"
"Huh? Hoity Toity's a famous fashion critic."
"Weird," Rarity said. "I wonder what other people I know do something entirely different as ponies..."
* * * * *
There was a fifteen-minute break between second and third period. The Equestrians gathered near the library to discuss their mornings.
"So how was everyone's morning?" Twilight asked.
"Boring," Rainbow Dash groaned. "The history teacher would just not shut up and his voice was so flat and...ugh."
"Well I've got a super-duper-important play to rehearse for in drama," Pinkie said cheerfully.
"Our biology teacher lost her platypus," Fluttershy said.
"Ah'm gonna flunk math," Applejack said. "Ah ain't got a head for numbers."
"Well I enjoyed my computer class very much!" Twilight said. Then, she frowned. "But Family Planning was boring even for me."
"Ugh," Rainbow said. "what was even the point of that class?"
"Ah ain't got that one on my schedule," Applejack said.
"You're lucky," Twilight replied.
Sunset had arrived in time for the latter exchange, and raised an eyebrow. "Which class?"
"Family Planning. Rainbow Dash and I had it last period."
Sunset snickered. "Seriously? Oh, I'm really going to enjoy watching you freak out over the egg baby assignment."
The girls split up to make their way to their third class of the day. As it so happened, Twilight had third period Literature with Sunset, Rarity, and Fluttershy. They were chatting lightly as they rounded a corner when Twilight collided with two girls. She fell on her butt, sprawling out on the ground with her books laying around her. "Sorry about that," she said as Fluttershy and Sunset helped her up.
"Like, watch where you're like, going," one of the girls said in a flat, bored voice. As Twilight got to her feet, she looked the girls over. They were obviously twins, with the exact same faces, hairstyles, and taste in clothes. However, they were also mirror images of each other. One had light blue skin and glossy pink hair, while the other had light pink skin and glossy blue hair. Both wore their hair held back by broad black hairbands. The blue twin wore a plum-colored blazer over a black blouse, with a black plaid skirt and black boots; the pink twin wore a black blazer over a plum blouse, with a plum plaid skirt and plum boots. Both twins had the same spiky white blossom crest upon their blazers.
"I said I was sorry," Twilight said as she studied the two girls.
"Really!" Rarity huffed. "It was an accident! There is no need to be rude!"
The twins ignored her. The blue one eyed Twilight up and down. "Are those like, your clothes?" she asked.
"Um...yes?"
The pink one snorted in disgust. "Like, you dress like, like a..."
"Like, lame-o dork," the blue one finished.
Sunset narrowed her eyes and took a step forward. "Back off," she said.
The twins rolled their eyes. "Like, whatever." They shot Twilight a poisonous glare. "Like, get in our way again? And we'll like, make you like, sorry you were ever like, born."
As they stalked away, Twilight watched them with a frown. "I feel like I've seen those girls before," she muttered.
Rarity rolled her eyes. "Puh-lease, dahling. You were the one who told us how this world works, remember? Those two were clearly the twins who run the spa back home."
"Aloe and Lotus Blossom?" Fluttershy asked, eyes wide. "But...the spa ponies are very nice. Why would they be so...so mean in this world?"
"Were they even here the last time I came to this world?" Twilight said.
Sunset blew upwards on her bangs. "The Blossom Twins moved here about two weeks ago. Their mom is super-rich and owns a chain of day spas. Word has it they got kicked out of a private school in the city for bullying, so their mom moved from the city to build a new location here and enrolled them in Canterlot High." She snorted. "They're the nastiest girls in school. Everybody hates them." She looked away uncomfortably. "Watching them makes me realize just how mean and nasty I was. I'm amazed anyone wants to be my friend at all."
Twilight patted Sunset's shoulder gently. She frowned. "So wait, we went to all that trouble to reform you and put a stop to your bullying here, and then no time at all passed before two new bullies showed up?"
"There's an old saying the philosophy teacher here is fond of," Sunset said. "Nature abhors a vacuum." She shook her head. "Come on, we're almost late for class."
* * * * *
"Alright, so I just..." Twilight's brow furrowed in concentration as she focused her attention on an apple sitting on the table. Sweat beaded as she screwed up her eyes, trying to will the apple to move. A weak magenta glow surrounded her horn...
...and the apple rolled off the table.
"Well...it's a start," Spike said.
Twilight sighed. "This is a lot harder than I thought it'd be."
The window next to the front door exploded inward with a violent crash as Rainbow Dash catapulted into the room, rolling across the floor in a tangled ball of hooves and feathers before crashing into a bookcase, which began raining books on her head. She looked up woozily, eyes swirling.
"Rainbow Dash! Are you alright?" Twilight asked.
Rainbow groaned. "This is a LOT harder than I thought..."
* * * * *
With the exception of Rainbow Dash, the girls all had P.E. together for the last period of school. Unlike their other classes, which only had about twenty students to a class, P.E. had nearly fifty students, boys and girls combined. They were also given longer to get out onto the practice field because they had to change into their gym clothes.
Twilight and her friends grouped together as the students milled about, talking and stretching and horsing around. Shortly after the last stragglers had arrived, a shrill whistle blasted out, calling them to order. The P.E. teacher jogged up to the class. He was a truly massive man with bulging muscles, an impossibly thick neck, beady red eyes, and a close-cropped brush of stiff blond hair.
"Alright, you wimps, listen up!" he bellowed. "Principal Celestia fed me some load of crap about a bunch of fancy-prancy pony princesses joining my class." He fixed his beady eyes on Twilight and her friends; Twilight gave him a sheepish wave. "Well I don't know what she's on, but nobody, and I mean NOBODY!, gets special treatment in my class." He leaned into Twilight's face. "Is. That. CLEAR?"
"Yes sir, um, Mr., um...?"
"It's COACH! SNOWFLAKE! Now, ALL of you, five laps around the practice track, then a hundred push-ups! MOVE!" His whistle blasted again, and the students scrambled to obey.
"What's HIS problem?" Pinkie asked as she jogged alongside Twilight.
"Steroids, Ah reckon," Applejack said from Twilight's other side.
"Yeah, he's definitely got a major case of roid rage," Flash Sentry said as he pulled up alongside the girls. "You holding up okay?"
"Oh, you know! We're fine! Just fine!" Twilight said, smiling cheerfully.
"I DON'T WANNA SEE ANY LIPS FLAP! CHATTERBOXES GET EXTRA LAPS!"
"We'lltalkafterschool," Twilight muttered.
* * * * *
Applejack fanned herself with her Stetson as she finished re-stringing a section of barbed wire. "Whew! Y'all sure it's winter? Cuz Ah'm sweatin' somethin' fierce over here!"
Big Macintosh chuckled. "Hard work is sweaty work, and sweaty work is good work."
Applejack shook her head. "Yeah yeah, Ah know. We done here?"
"Eeyup. Let's get inside afore dark, it's right about suppertime." As they walked, he added, "Ah gotta admit, Ah'm impressed. If'n Ah didn't know better, Ah'd swear you were mah Applejack. You sure work as hard as she does."
Applejack grinned. "Ah tell ya, hooves aside, Ah feel right at home here."
* * * * *
After school, the girls met at Sugarcube Corner to compare notes on their first day of school and to help each other with their homework.
"What's that y'all got there, sugarcube?" Applejack asked as she noticed Pinkie Pie's unusually intense concentration.
"Script," Pinkie replied. "I'm the lead. Three days to learn my part."
"Need any help?" Twilight asked. "What's the play?" She peered over Pinkie's shoulder. "Which part's yours?"
"Utena," Pinkie said, not looking up from the script.
"Hmm..." Twilight opened up her laptop and went to the web browser, typing in "Utena". Within seconds, she was on a webpedia page outlining the basic story of the play. Her eyes widened progressively further as she read. "Uhh, Pinkie? Have you...read the whole script yet?"
"Huh? No, why?"
Twilight turned her computer so Pinkie could see it. After a minute, Pinkie recoiled in horror. "WHAT?!"
"Yeah. Good luck with that," Twilight said, shaking her head and laughing. Looking around at the others, she said, "Well, I won't pretend my first day of school was perfect," she said, "but for the most part, I enjoyed myself. What about you girls?"
"It was...nice," Fluttershy said.
"Borin'," Applejack said. "But Ah'll keep at it."
"Well, I had fun!" Pinkie said. "At least until I found out what this play's about. That other me must be loco in the coco to take the lead in something like that!"
"Lunch and team practice were cool," Rainbow Dash said listlessly. "Everything else was totally not-cool."
"Oh, you're all just looking at it the wrong way," Rarity said. "I agree with Twilight, this experience is going to be very interesting!"
"Thank you, Rarity," Twilight said. She looked at the others. "Look...I knew our first day here would be shaky. But, please, for me...give it another chance."
"Well of course we will, Twi," Applejack said. "Just cuz we liked some parts of it and didn't like others, that don't mean we wanna give up. That's what life is. Y'like some parts, an' some parts make ya wanna kick somethin' in th' teeth."
"Yeah, no worries, Twilight!" Rainbow Dash said. "We'll be here for a long time, so we'll make the most of it!"
The six ponies-turned-human shared a group hug, then went back to working on their homework.
* * * * *
Rainbow Dash trotted tiredly into the library, mane matted with sweat, coat covered in mud and filth, pinions askew. "Ugh...I don't think I can even move my wings ever again," she complained.
"Rough day?" Twilight asked.
"Soarin's one hard trainer," Dash answered. A glass of lemonade appeared before her eyes, and she took a long sip through the straw peeking out of it. "Ahh. That's what I needed. Thanks, Twi..." She trailed off, noticing that the lemonade was glowing a hazy reddish-violet and floating in midair. She blinked. "What the?" She turned her gaze to the alicorn, who was beaming brightly at her. Her horn was glowing the same color as the lemonade.
Dash's eyes widened.
"Basic first-grade levitation spell," Twilight said happily. "What do you think?"
"I think you're an egghead," Dash snorted with a smile. "Keep that lemonade cold for me, I'm gonna take a shower."
* * * * *
Dear Princess Celestia,
Human school is a lot tougher than pony school. Also, I learned something important today which I've been thinking a lot about. It's something Sunset Shimmer said to me: "Nature abhors a vacuum." I've given that a lot of thought, and I think I understand now why so many dangerous things keep showing up in Equestria. It's because sometimes, bad things just have to happen in order to remind us why we're lucky to have all the good things we have.
I also discovered that not all of our counterparts here are as nice as their pony versions back home. But I can't help but wonder if some of the ponies who aren't very nice back home might be a lot nicer here.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
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