Wednesday, September 30, 2015

2015
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Today's Horoscope (Virgo): Cold showers may be in your future.

Early Morning

I wake up to a piercing shriek from downstairs.

As I'm trying to wake up enough to process this, and wondering if perhaps somehow we've misjudged the Zodiac situation and there's about to be another attack, I hear feet thudding down the hall, and my door opens. "Flash? We've...got a little problem downstairs."

It's Twilight. She's still in her pajamas.

It's barely daylight yet.

"What's wrong?" I ask, sliding to the edge of the bed.

Twilight looks embarrassed. "Umm...the shower's kinda...busted on our floor. There's no hot water."

I frown. "If there's no hot water on your floor, then there's probably not any on mine..."

"No no, this dorm uses electric on-demand heaters," Twilight says. "There's a separate heater for each floor. This isn't the first time the second floor heater's broken." She looks down, tugging at the hem of her pajama top. "It's just...the first time it's broken while the third floor was occupied."

I get up and head to the bathroom. I reach into the shower and turn on the hot water, waiting a few seconds with my hand under the spray.

It gets warm quickly.

I sigh. "Alright, fine...just let me go first, okay?"

"Thanks," Twilight says, kissing me on the cheek. "You're a lifesaver."

"So that scream a minute ago?"

"Pinkie Pie."

As if on cue, Pinkie yells from downstairs, "Twilight! Is there hot water up there?"

"Yeah, it's working up here, but Flash wants to go first, okay?"

"Okay!"

I grab my stuff and hurriedly take a shower while Twilight shuffles back down to the second floor. After a quick five minute shower, I wrap my towel around my waist and head back to my room.

Pinkie's standing in the hall holding a towel, a bottle of body wash, and a bottle of shampoo.

She's completely naked.

I can't help but stare. Who wouldn't? She has an amazing body...and either shaves or got a Brazilian wax...

"PINKIE!" Twilight yells, snapping me out of it. She's standing just at the top of the stairs, her face crimson.

"What?" Pinkie whines. "I was already wet!"

So am I, now...

I very quickly duck back into my room.

After School

Tennis practice is...very businesslike today. Suri doesn't say a single word to anybody, the coach doesn't leave during the entire practice, and all we do is exercises and return drills against ball launchers.

After practice, Pinkie's waiting for me outside the locker rooms. Her hair is still damp and drooping, and when she sees me, she strikes a saucy pose. "See anything you like?" she asks in a teasing tone.

I groan. "Pinkie..."

"Oh, lighten up, Flashie!" she says, giggling. "Come on, let's go do something fun." With a smirk, she adds, "Like maybe go to a love hotel..."

"Pinkie!!"

Pinkie giggles again. "Just kidding!" She tilts her head. "Of course, if you really wanted to...I might!" She winks at me.

I groan. "You're worse than Rainbow Dash."

Pinkie rolls her eyes. "Come on, let's go grab a taco or something before we head back to the dorm. I'm hungry!"

"Sure," I say.

We head for a restaurant that's only a few blocks away from the school, Taco Tuesday's. It's a tiny but relatively popular place, run by a guy whose name is, believe it or not, Taco Tuesday. He's a cheerful but odd fellow who wears a T-shirt with a taco on it and a big taco-shaped hat.

We order a couple of tacos each and find a table that isn't terribly dirty to sit and eat. Pinkie sighs. "I may have to drop tennis soon," she says. "Guess I'll have to give up some of my little after-school outings too."

"Huh? Why?"

Pinkie opens a hot sauce packet and squirts it onto her taco. "You remember how I told you my sister Maud gives me an allowance?" I nod. "Well..." She sighs. "Maud's about to move away for a few years. Like, really far away."

"Oh?"

Pinkie nods. "She's moving to Vanhoover to take geology and mineralogy courses at the university there."

"Vanhoover? Why? There's schools a lot closer..."

"Yeah, but there's a certain professor she wants to study with, and he's at Vanhoover." Pinkie shrugs. "This is a really big opportunity for her, and she was lucky they accepted her application with the term already underway. Thing is, I won't get to spend any time with her for a really long time, and she probably won't have much time to talk to me, and, well..." She sighs. "She won't be able to spare the extra money to help me out, either. So I'm gonna have to take more shifts at Sugar Cube Corner." She takes a huge bite of her taco.

"Wow. And...you can't ask your parents..."

Pinkie glares at me. "I'm not asking them for one fucking thing."

I stare at her. Where did THAT come from?!

Pinkie deflates. "Sorry," she says quietly. Her hair is rapidly going flat. "I...I had a fight with my dad..." She toys with a hot sauce packet. "It was...it was pretty bad." Her eyes fill with tears. "All my dad cares about is rocks. All my mom cares about is rocks. I have three sisters. Rocks, rocks, rocks. That's all they care about! Stupid, stupid rocks!" She sniffles. "I hate rocks."

"And that's why you got into a fight with your dad?"

"Pretty much," Pinkie says. "I kinda hinted at what I wanted for my birthday this year...oh, my birthday's coming up next month...and he said he wouldn't waste his money on something so useless that had no practical use."

"What...did you ask for?" I ask.

"This amazing cookbook full of cake and cupcake recipes and baking and decorating tips," Pinkie says. "It's like, the biggest and bestest baking book ever...but it's really expensive. I just thought, with my birthday coming up..." She sighs. "But when I mentioned it to my dad, he..."

"Ouch." Pinkie's dad must be the world's biggest dick. I kind of want to punch him in HIS rocks.

Pinkie eats the rest of her taco in silence. "Sorry," she says after a few minutes. "I...I didn't mean to dump all this on you."

"Hey, what are friends for?" I say. "I'm always here for you if you need to talk, vent, whatever..."

Pinkie smiles at me. "Thanks," she says. She dabs at her eyes with a napkin. "We should probably get back to the dorm. I promised Rainbow Dash I'd..."

"Yeah."

Evening

Rainbow is sitting in the lounge with her bad leg propped up when Pinkie and I return. "Hey guys," she says.

"Hi Dashie!" Pinkie calls out. "How're you doing today?"

"Eh...better," Rainbow says. "Worn out from physical therapy."

"Aww...so no orgy then?" Pinkie says with a playful pout.

"Gah! What the—?!" Rainbow splutters.

I roll my eyes. "She's been like this all day."

Pinkie giggles and bounces upstairs. I sit down in one of the recliners. "Feel up to a guitar lesson after dinner?" I ask.

"Sure," Rainbow says.

I pull out my laptop and do my homework while I chat with Rainbow. I'm halfway through my homework when Applejack, Rarity, and Twilight start bringing dinner into the lounge. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie show up, and we all eat and talk about our day.

After dinner, I go upstairs and grab both my guitar and Rainbow's, then spend nearly an hour giving her a guitar lesson.

"Whew...that's still pretty hard work," Rainbow says as we finish up.

Fluttershy walks in. "Rainbow Dash? It's time for your bath..."

Rainbow grimaces. "Yeah yeah..."

"Oh!" I say. "Did they fix the water heater on the second floor yet?"

Fluttershy shakes her head sadly. "Not until tomorrow," she says.

"Crap." I guess I'll have to get up early in the morning and get done fast so I don't have any more...hallway accidents.

...wait a second...

I help Fluttershy get Rainbow upstairs, then I return to take the guitars and my laptop upstairs. I finish up my homework, watch a little television, then go to bed.