Sunday, April 3, 2016

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Today's Horoscope (Virgo): You may be in for unexpected, but welcome, surprises today.

Morning

I end up sitting next to Rainbow on the flight back to Canterlot.

She shuffles awkwardly. "Hey, Flash?"

"Yeah?"

"It...it was good for you, right? When we did it? I didn't disappoint you?"

"Of course not," I say. I smile at her. "You were awesome."

She wrings her hands in her lap. "I just—"

I turn her to face me. "Listen. Whoever you end up with is gonna be really lucky."

She blushes. "Thanks." She frowns. "Is it weird that I still kinda wanna do it with girls?"

"Not at all," I say. "Look at Twilight, Pinkie, and Cadance. Do you think they're weird?"

"VERY weird," Rainbow says with a grin. "But...but not because of that..."

"Well then, there you go." I smirk at her. "If you ever need a dick fix, I think I can help with that..."

She sticks her tongue out at me and laughs.

Evening

Shining Armor, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle meet us at the gate and help us carry all our luggage. The luggage, the pets, and the two younger girls all go into a rental SUV, while the girls and I ride home in Cadance's SUV, which she left in the long-term parking at the airport.

When we get back to the dorm, we're all surprised to find Twilight's parents there waiting for us.

"Mom! Dad!" Twilight cries happily. "I wasn't expecting you!"

Velvet smiles. "We actually came down on Friday," she says. "I knew the dorm would need some, well..." She coughs. "We needed to do some shopping for you all, and I know Shiny doesn't know how to shop for a large group...and I wanted to see if my little girl got a nice tan on the beach." She looks Twilight over appraisingly. "Well, you do look a little darker..."

Twilight giggles and hugs her mother.

"Now, you kids go put your things away," Velvet says. "I'm sure you're exhausted after that long flight, but get freshened up while the rest of us get dinner on the table for you."

We all take our stuff upstairs and wash up for dinner, then file into the dining room. There, we find another surprise: Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna!

"Hello, everyone," Celestia says with a smile. "Did you enjoy your vacation?"

"We sure did!" Pinkie says. "Everybody got laid! Well, except Fluttershy and Applejack."

"Pinkie!" Twilight yells.

Celestia raises an eyebrow. "You all practiced safe sex, I hope?" She shakes her head and laughs. "Ahh, it takes me back...you remember that one time we went to Canterlittle, Luna?"

Luna makes a pained face. "You mean that time you made it with that entire volleyball team?"

"Perhaps...these aren't the best stories to tell at the dinner table?" Velvet interjects hastily.

Celestia coughs. "Ahem. Yes. Perhaps not."

It turns out Celestia, Luna, and Velvet worked together to lay out a massive welcome-back feast. We all settle in to eat.

"So, did you girls have a good time while we were gone?" Rarity asks Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.

"Yeah, we had fun," Sweetie Belle says. "Actually, we probably had more fun than you all had at the beach. I mean, we got to ride rides and see shows and win prizes playing games..."

"Yeah, an' all y'all did was lie around on th' beach!" Apple Bloom says with a grin. She gives Sweetie Belle a fist-bump. "Best Spring Break EVER!"

"Well, that's not all we did," Rarity says, "but I'm glad you enjoyed yourselves."

As we eat dinner, we talk about our trip to Haytona, while the younger girls tell us all about the things they did over break. It's a lot of talking and laughing and good cheer all around.

"But I think I'm glad to be home," Twilight says after relating some of what happened on Friday. She smiles. "Vacation was fun, but I think I'm tired from all the rest."

Celestia laughs. "I know what you mean. Still...I don't expect the entire school to share your sentiment. I have a feeling the halls will be full of zombies tomorrow."

"I'll be one of them," Luna mutters. We all laugh.

"Hey, guess what!" Apple Bloom says. "Startin' tomorrow, me an' Sweetie Belle are gonna be on Canterbook!"

"That's great," Twilight says with a strained smile. Her eyes flick to me, then to Cadance. Fluttershy frowns mildly.

"By the way, Rainbow Dash," Celestia says, "I've been chatting with your father a lot this past week."

Rainbow looks up. "Really?"

"Mm-hmm." Celestia's cheeks flush slightly. "You know he's coming back to Canterlot later this week, right?"

"Yeah, he mentioned it." Rainbow gestures with her fork. "He's announcing his retirement next week."

"Well, I'm...looking forward to spending some pleasant time in his company."

"Why, that's wonderful!" Velvet says. "Blaze needs a good woman in his life."

Toward the end of dinner, Cadance clears her throat. "I...actually have an announcement," she says.

We all turn our attention to her.

She smiles and worries at her napkin. "I...was going to tell Shining Armor this in private first, but...I feel like sharing with everyone at the same time, especially since Vel and Night Light are here." She takes a deep breath. "Right...before we left for Spring Break, I used an early pregnancy test, and..." She smiles. "Yesterday, I took another one to confirm it." She beams at Shining Armor. "Shiny...we're pregnant!"

Everyone gasps.

Shining Armor's eyes widen. "We..." His mouth works for a minute. "Really?"

Cadance nods happily.

Shining Armor shakes his head in stunned shock. "We did it?"

Twilight lets out a squeal. "Oh my gosh, Cadance! You're gonna have a baby!"

Velvet lets out a similar squeal. "I'm going to be a grandmother!"

Celestia smiles somewhat wistfully. "Congratulations, you two," she says.

"Thank you," Cadance says. She rubs her stomach. "I'm just glad I had a chance to show off my perfect bikini body one last time before I go whale."

I had sex with a pregnant woman? That's...a little creepy...

Night Light stands up and grins. "Shiny, we need to go out for a drink," he announces.

"Uhh...not tonight, Dad," Shining Armor says. "I've got too much to do tomorrow, not to mention I've gotta work, and I really don't wanna go in with a hangover."

"You'd better not show up to work hung over," Luna says sternly.

Night Light sighs. "Fair enough. How about this weekend? Saturday good for you?"

Shining Armor shrugs. "Sure, I can get drunk on Saturday." He pauses. "Actually, though...I think I can get away with one drink. And I've got just the thing." He glances at me. "Flash, you wanna join us?"

I blink. "Uhh..."

"It's tradition," Night Light says, clapping a hand on my shoulder. "Besides, I'll be having this drink with you someday when you and Twilight—"

"DAD!" Twilight exclaims, blushing profusely.

Celestia purses her lips. "I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear you ask a minor to have a drink with you," she says.

Luna rolls her eyes. "Tia, I watched you drink six shots of tequila on your fifteenth birthday."

"Quiet, you," Celestia says. She shakes her head. "Don't get the kid drunk."

"Just one drink," Night Light says cheerfully, before dragging me off with him, Shining Armor in the lead. Behind us, I hear Velvet tell Cadance to come upstairs with her for some girl talk...

In the apartment, Night Light and I sit on the couch while Shining Armor rummages around for a bit, producing three small glasses and a full bottle of something reddish-orange in color. He fills one glass almost to the top, then pours the other two half-full. He hands his father the full one, while taking one of the half-full ones for himself and giving me the other one.

"To family," Night Light says.

"To the new baby," Shining Armor says. We all raise our glasses, then drink. The liquor has a strong, spicy cinnamon bite, and burns like fire going down...

"That's good stuff," Night Light says. "Where'd you get it?"

"Won it in a raffle," Shining Armor says. He peers at me intently for a minute. "Hey Dad, mind giving me a minute alone with Flash?"

"Will do," Night Light says. He takes his glass and the bottle, salutes, and wanders off into the back of the apartment.

Shining Armor stares after him, snorts, and shakes his head. "Hope he leaves some for later, I was saving that." He sighs and leans forward. "Listen, Flash...I know everything that happened over Spring Break. Cadance kept in touch with me every day."

Oh crap.

"Don't give me that look," he says with a smile. "You're not in trouble." He studies his glass and sets it down. "I wanted to thank you, actually," he says. "For...for everything you've done for us since you came here.

"I admit, when you first showed up, I..." Shining Armor frowns. "I didn't like that you had Twilight mooning over you. But...I guess I wasn't ready to accept that Twiley isn't a little kid anymore...that she's growing up, and can look out for herself." He grimaces. "And it doesn't help that me and Cadance were going through problems at the time. But I took a lot of my own frustrations out on you, and...and I wish I hadn't.

"Flash...you're the best thing that's ever happened to Twilight. Even if I'm...still a little disturbed by how, well..." He blushes. "Active she's been lately, and that whole thing with you two and Pinkie still weirds me out...the important thing is, she's happy. Happier than she's ever been. And it's because of you.

"And Cadance is happier too," he says. "Even if...even if it took something really messed up happening to start it, she's...she's gotten better. We've had a lot of long talks, and..." He runs his hands through his hair. "For a long time, I resigned myself to the fact that she was going to run around on me. But now, well...I understand that it's just...she enjoys being physical. And yeah, I do wish she'd only be physical with me, but..." He shrugs. "Once I understood her...really understood her...I don't mind if she wants to have her favorite kind of fun with the people she really cares about. As long as I know who she's with and that it's somebody we both love and respect." He turns very red. "I do wish she hadn't told me about her making out with Twilight, because that was just—"

"I can imagine," I say. "It...was kind of weird to see it too."

He raises an eyebrow. "Bullshit. You got to live every guy's dream with the two best girls in the world, and you know it."

I laugh weakly. "Well...yeah." I swallow. "I..."

He raises a hand. "You don't need to say it." He shakes his head. "Anyway...Cadance and I love each other unconditionally, and...and I understand now what that really means." He chuckles. "She's encouraging me to have a little fun with someone I care about too, but...the truth is, there's...nobody I really want to have that kind of fun with but her."

I raise an eyebrow. "Nobody at all?"

"Flash, if you even think of saying I want to do my sister, I—"

I hold up my hands placatingly. "Actually, I was thinking about Rarity. I saw you eyeballing her ass at Sweet Apple Acres."

"Oh." Shining Armor blushes sheepishly. "I...think that'd be a bad idea for entirely different reasons." He shakes his head. "Anyway, I...I just wanted you to know that..." He swallows. "Thanks," he says. "For taking care of Twilight, for making her happy...for helping me see how much of an asshole I've been since last summer, and...and for helping Cadance. And helping both of us. We're in a much happier place now." He chuckles.

"I'm just...happy everybody's happy," I say. "And I love Twilight. I'm so incredibly, amazingly lucky to have a girlfriend like her. I never thought a girl like her even existed..."

He reaches into his shirt and pulls out a set of battered old dog tags. "These were my great-grandfather's," he says. "He gave them to Grandpa for good luck when he got married. Grandpa gave them to my dad when he married Mom. When I got engaged to Cadance, Dad gave them to me." He takes them off and hands them to me. "I have a feeling...I should be giving them to you now."

"Coach, I—"

"You're part of this family now," Shining Armor says. "And...I'm trusting you to look after Twilight. From now on." He smiles. "Call it a hunch, but I'm pretty sure you're in it for the long haul."

I accept the dog tags and hang them around my own neck. I nod. "I won't let you down. Or Twilight."

---

We head into the back to find Night Light, who's had at least three more glasses and is passed out. Shining Armor shakes his head and laughs, then liberates the bottle. We each drink another half glass, then I head upstairs to get some sleep.

Tomorrow, it's back to school...

The booze is making my head feel nice and fuzzy, and I have no trouble getting to sleep.