Saturday, April 16, 2016

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Today's Horoscope (Virgo): Things will work out as long as you're honest about your feelings.

Early Morning

I couldn't sleep at all last night...

All night long, my tension, anger, and dread kept gnawing at me...

When the first light of dawn peeks through my window, I get up, peel down, and head for the bathroom to take a shower. Once I'm clean, I get dressed and head downstairs to scrounge up some breakfast.

I hear voices coming from the lounge...

I look in to find Twilight, Pinkie, Cadance, Luna, and Celestia in the lounge. Twilight's laptop is open in front of her.

"—do if he has to go back?" Twilight says. "I...I don't think I could stand it..."

"This is ridiculous!" Twilight Velvet's voice issues from Twilight's computer. "If there'd been any late express trains last night, I'd be down there right now...I'd love to give those two idiots a piece of my mind..."

"I think I already took care of that," I say as I walk in. Everybody looks up, expressions of guilt, sympathy, and worry on their faces. I walk over to sit next to Twilight; Pinkie gets up and lets me sit down.

"Good morning, Flash dear," Velvet says. "How...how are you doing?"

I shrug. "Didn't sleep last night. Pretty pissed off."

"Understandable," Celestia says with a sigh. "I swear, I have dealt with more dysfunctional families this year alone than I've had to deal with in my entire career as an educator..."

"I'm, umm...gonna go make everybody some breakfast," Pinkie says. Her eyes are sad and her hair is limp.

"Don't you need to get ready for today's matches?" I ask.

She shrugs. "We're playing here in Canterlot today, I'm in no hurry." She sags. "Besides, I...I'm not sure I..." She turns and heads for the kitchen.

"Twilight told us about...how you unloaded on your parents," Velvet says. She frowns. "I think you probably could've made your point without...some of what you said, but..."

I sigh. "Yeah. It's just...it seems like every time I've got something going right for me lately, something comes along to screw everything up. And...and I've been dreading going back to Seaddle for months now." I look down at my lap. "I really...don't want to go back. Ever."

"We don't want you to go back," Cadance says. "Everybody here loves you and cares about you. It...it just doesn't make sense for you to have to leave if you're happy here."

I slump forward, head in my hands. Twilight wraps an arm around me and holds me tight.

Slowly, over the next half hour or so, the others start to trickle downstairs. Everybody looks miserable. Pinkie serves breakfast with less than her usual enthusiasm, and nobody eats very much—not even Twilight.

A little past eight, the doorbell rings. We all glance nervously at each other; I get up and answer the door, admitting my parents. They both look about as miserable and exhausted as I feel. "Good...good morning, Flash," Mom says.

I step out of the way and let them in. They follow me to the lounge, where the entire dorm is waiting. Even Shining Armor has joined us.

My parents look around at the crowd uneasily. "Err...we could go someplace more...private to talk, if—"

"Mr. Flashback," Celestia interrupts, raising a hand, "all of us are here to discuss this situation." She stands and smooths out her blouse. "We've never actually met face-to-face, but we've spoken a few times. I'm Principal Celestia."

Dad nods to her. "It's...a pleasure," he says.

The girls make room for my parents to sit down. There are some uneasy and even hostile looks floating around the room. The tension is thick enough to cut...

I take a deep breath. "Mom, Dad..." I look at them. "Here's the thing. I don't want to go back to Seaddle, and it isn't fair for you to force me to. Everything I care about in the world is here in Canterlot."

Mom winces. "You...don't care about us?"

I rub my face. "I...didn't mean it like that."

"Yes, you did," Dad says. He sighs. "Last night...we went over all the e-mails you've sent us since August." He grimaces. "So many things you told us...neither of us remembered. After everything you said to us last night..." He glances at Mom.

Mom looks down at her feet. "We...we haven't been very good parents, have we?"

"No, you haven't," I say. "You've made sure I've had everything I ever wanted or needed, and I'm grateful for that. Really, I am. But...you've never really been there. Except when I was sick, or when I had my tonsils out, or..." I shake my head. "So few times you've actually acted like real parents. I've had to do everything on my own."

"Son...why didn't you say anything until now?" Dad asks.

I shrug. "Because..." I shove my hands in my pockets. "Until I came to Canterlot...I don't think I really cared. About anything. Ever since I was a kid, I've...just kind of drifted through life. One day into the next, going nowhere, not really caring about anything.

"But something changed when I came here," I say. "Ever since I've been here in Canterlot...I've made friends. I've gotten involved. I care about things, about people, more than I ever have in my life." I give Mom and Dad a serious look. "Canterlot has changed me. For the better. I...I belong here."

"Flash has done so much for everyone here," Twilight says. She stands up and links her hand with mine. "I've changed so much since he came here. I was always...I kept to myself all the time, just reading and studying. Then Flash came, and...and from practically the first day, he made it clear that he liked me." She blushes. "He got me to open up, and now I'm closer to everyone in this dorm...I know what it's like to be in love..." She leans against me. "He's the best thing that ever happened to me."

"He helped save our marriage," Cadance says, squeezing Shining Armor's hand. "He was exactly what we needed, exactly when we needed it, when we were going through a real rough spot."

"And I can honestly say that with Flash around, I've...I've learned to accept that my little sister is growing into a woman, and ready to live her own life without me having to protect her all the time," Shining Armor says.

"My parents disowned me," Pinkie says. "It was Flash's quick thinking and determination to not lose me forever that made it possible for me to still be here."

"Flash was there for me when I started to doubt myself," Rainbow says. "I don't like talkin' about all this touchy-feely crap, but...I'm not lettin' him outta here without a fight."

"Every single person in this dorm has gone through their own personal hell this year," Fluttershy says softly. "And every single one of us has gone to Flash for help, for advice...or even just someone to talk to."

"He's become quite important to all of us," Rarity says. "And not just us, but several others at school."

"Like the new tennis coach," Pinkie says. "And the captain of the tennis team. And the school disc jockey, who just went blind this year. And more." She takes my other hand and leans against me. "So many people at CHS owe Flash so much..."

I squeeze the girls' hands tightly. "You see?" I say to my parents. "My friends need me, and I need them. And...please understand that while you're my parents, and I do respect and love you..." I take a deep breath. "I..."

"You don't need us," Mom says, her voice catching. She looks down at her lap. "We get it." She looks at Dad.

Dad sighs. "It's...it's our own fault," he says. "We...we've just...left you alone, and..." He runs his hands through his hair. "God...sixteen years go by, and you...you don't realize how bad you screwed things up, and then..."

"Mr. Flashback," Celestia says, "I want to make one thing absolutely clear. Your son is a fine, upstanding young man, with a bright and promising future ahead of him. Whatever he wants to do with his life, I'm positive he'll succeed. That he has made himself such a respectable and dependable person in spite of your absence of actual parenting and, frankly, emotional neglect...it's a testament to the incredible person he is."

Mom sniffles. "Thank you," she says. She looks at me. "You...you really don't want to go back to Seaddle?"

I shake my head. "There's nothing for me there."

Mom sighs heavily. "I...I guess not..." She looks at Dad. "What do you think?"

Dad shakes his head. "I think...we need to get to know our son," he says. "Really get to know him." He looks at me. "If this is what you want, then..." He sighs and nods. "I guess...there's no point in forcing you to go back. But we're going to be in touch more than ever. And...and I promise we'll really pay attention to you from now on." He looks at Mom. "We owe you that much."

---

Mom stands up, walks over, and hugs me. The girls step away and let me hug her back. Mom sniffles. "I...I'm sorry," she says.

Dad walks over and claps me firmly on the shoulder. Our eyes meet, and he nods. I nod back.

After a moment, Mom pulls away and looks at me. She puts on a brave smile. "Well," she says.

Dad puts a hand on her shoulder. "We...should get going," he says. "Our flight..."

Mom sniffles and nods. "Yeah. Goodbye, Flash. Take...take care..."

"Call me when you get home," I say.

"We will."

I watch them leave. Mom is fighting back tears, but loses it when she reaches the door. Dad glances back at me once, a sad, lost look on his face, then guides Mom out, closing the door behind them.

A long silence descends.

"Well..." Celestia says after a while. "I suppose that's settled, then."

"Yeah..." I say. I sigh heavily. "Guys? I'm...gonna go back upstairs. I'm...I'm tired." I smile at Pinkie. "Good luck today, okay? Win for me."

Pinkie smiles, tears in her eyes. "You bet."

By the time I make it to my room, all the tension has drained out of my body, replaced by relief, exhaustion...

...and guilt.

I don't regret what was said yesterday and today, but I can't help but feel guilty when I think about Mom crying, and that last look Dad gave me...

Evening

It's late in the day by the time I wake up. I head downstairs to find everyone decorating for a party.

Pinkie returns from the tennis matches beaming and bouncing. She flings herself at me in a huge, bonecrushing hug. She excitedly tells us about how Canterlot crushed the competition today, then rushes upstairs to put away her stuff and clean up.

We're all up late into the night celebrating. There's lots of food and movies and video games and laughter and fun all around. At around ten, I get a call from my parents, and we talk for nearly an hour, with the others roaming in and out to get a word in here and there. By the time I say goodnight to them, I'm feeling a lot better about how things went.

By the time the party winds down, it's almost two in the morning. I'm so exhausted from what has been the most mentally and emotionally draining two days of my life that I almost forget that tomorrow is the last chance we'll have to train in Zodiac before Applejack's birthday...