Saturday, April 9, 2016
Saturday, April 9, 2016
Today's Horoscope (Virgo): The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children.
Daytime
It started pouring down rain around eight this morning and doesn't look to be letting up anytime soon, so we're all pretty much stuck inside today. I spend the day in the lounge watching movies with Twilight, Shining Armor, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Sonata. Rarity is upstairs working on some project or other, Rainbow left with her dad just after it started raining, and the younger girls are upstairs playing video games. Cadance is apparently going through her first real bout of "morning" sickness today and doesn't feel like doing anything but migrating from her bed to the toilet.
After lunch, we start watching one of mine and Coach's favorite movies, a profanity-laden and occasionally violent movie about some gangsters and an over-the-hill boxer. Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy have never seen it.
"So...they're just sitting right there in the diner making plans to rob it?" Twilight asks. "Just...just like that?"
"Who really pays attention to what anybody else says in a diner unless they're being really loud?"
Later...
"Wow, this is one really long scene about nothing," Twilight says. "I mean, they're talking and talking and they're not really saying anything."
"There's people who make a lot of money making shows about nothing," Fluttershy says.
Later still...
"Wow, I've never seen anybody manage to eat a hamburger in a threatening manner before!"
The first, sudden gunshot in the scene makes us all jump, even those of us who were expecting it. In the loud, angry rant that follows, Coach and I can't help but chant certain lines along with the movie:
"ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT?"
"DOES. HE. LOOK. LIKE. A BITCH?"
Later still...
"Should...should he really be driving?" Twilight asks. "I mean, he just shot up..."
"This guy does nothing but stupid things," I say.
Later still...
"How stupid do you have to be to just randomly snort something you found in somebody else's pocket?" Fluttershy wonders.
"An' this is why drugs are bad for ya," Applejack says.
Later still...
Next to me, Twilight very nearly dozes off during the watch monologue. When it gets to the "up his ass" part, Applejack spittakes, Fluttershy lets out a laugh, and Twilight sits up, eyes wide. "Up WHERE?"
"You heard him, his ass!"
"I really hope he washed that watch!" Fluttershy says, laughing.
Later still...
"Nope, he definitely don't look like no bitch," Applejack says.
Later still...
"I feel sorry for that girl," she says. "I mean, her boyfriend is loud, violent, and look at how he's trashing that motel room over a small mistake she made!"
Shining Armor shakes his head. "He's got every right to be mad. I mean, it's his birthright and she just left it behind when the last thing they need is a reason to be stuck in town."
"Yeah," I agree. "Honestly, the girl's kind of...well...a cow."
Twilight, Sonata, and Fluttershy all glare at me. "Excuse me?" Twilight says.
Shining Armor raises an eyebrow at me, smirking. Crap, why did I say that...?
"Well...you know how you can never get a cow to do what you need it to? It just stands around mooing and chewing its cud. The whole farm could be about to burn down and that one stupid cow's just gonna keep standing there being a stupid cow. That's...that's just what that girl reminds me of. No awareness of the situation."
"Hey now," Applejack says, "cows ain't that dumb." She pauses, frowns, and adds, "then again, me an' Big Mac did hafta save ol' Daisy Jo from gittin' run over with th' tractor that one time..."
"I just think the girl's a little...well...dim, honestly," I say. "She's not helping the situation. She's just sitting there mooing."
The girls are still frowning at me; the mood in the room is rather cold as we all return to watching the movie.
Later still...
"Okay, yeah, the guy's too dumb to live," Applejack says. "Jes' leavin' his gun lyin' around like that..."
Later still...
"Oh god oh god EW EW EW!"
Later still...
"So THAT'S where that expression came from..."
Later still...
There's another scene with the stupid, cow-like girl, and again, instead of being quick on the uptake and doing what she has to do, she stands around mewling and asking stupid questions.
Twilight frowns. "Okay, yeah...she is kind of...dumb."
"I'd have slapped her by now," Fluttershy says.
What was that whole thing about pot bellies being sexy? That's been bugging me since earlier.
"Actually..." Shining Armor says, "I read somewhere that in that first scene she was in, she was trying to work up to telling him she was pregnant."
We all look at each other.
"Well...that explains a lot," Applejack says.
"Yeah..."
"She's still slow and stupid, though," I say. I should really learn when to shut my mouth.
Later still...
"Okay, how stupid do you have to be to wave a gun around in a car like that with your finger on the trigger?" Twilight rants.
"No shit, sugarcube," Applejack says. "This dude's more'n a few apples shy of a bushel." She snorts. "Got 'im killed too, didn't it?"
That's some mess. Ick.
Later still...
"OH MY GOD, STOP WHINING AND BITCHING, YOU ASSHOLE!" Fluttershy screams. Shining Armor stares at her, as does Applejack.
After the movie...
"So what was in the briefcase?" Twilight wonders.
"Nobody knows," Shining Armor says. "The director's never said. There's been lots of theories about it. Some people think it's the diamonds from the heist in the director's first film. There's also people who think it's his soul. It's something you're supposed to wonder about."
"Welp, that was a crazy movie," Applejack says, standing up. "Ah'm gonna go take a shit."
"Oh hell, somebody's gonna get shot," I say. Shining Armor laughs.
Applejack blinks. "Huh?"
Twilight giggles. "I get it!" she says. "Because every time that one guy went to the bathroom, something bad happened, right?"
Applejack shakes her head and wanders off.
We watch another couple of movies, after which we're each left to our own devices for dinner, since nobody's really interested in cooking tonight. There's more than enough stuff in the fridge and the pantry for leftovers, sandwiches, and such. After dinner, most of us end up right back in the lounge, watching more movies.
Evening
Rainbow returns just before sunset, grinning ear to ear. Even though most of their plans were wrecked by the rain, she and her dad managed to have a great time together.
We're still watching movies when Pinkie returns. It's past dark, and she looks miserable.
"Pinkie? Are you okay?" Twilight asks.
Pinkie sighs. "Our matches today were in Salt Lick City," she says. "I...I couldn't concentrate. Being back there...it had me on edge."
Twilight gets up and rushes over to Pinkie, pulling her into a hug. She goes upstairs with her. I consider joining them, but something tells me I should leave this one to Twilight...
I decide to start straightening up the lounge before going up to bed. I'm just about to leave when Sweetie Belle pads in, barefoot and in her pajamas, clutching a toy beaver. She looks upset. "What's wrong?" I ask.
She sighs. "I just got a call from Button's mom," she says. "She decided to pull him out of school." She sits down heavily. "He's been getting bullied really bad on Canterbook. He...he won't even come out of his room. He's turned off his phone."
"Damn..."
She looks up at me. "Is it..." She pauses, then says, "Button needs a friend, and...and I still think he's cute and I still think there's some good stuff about him, but..." She swallows. "I kinda want to use this as an excuse to, y'know..."
"Make a clean break?"
"Yeah." She looks down guiltily. "Am I a bad person?"
I shake my head. "No," I say. "You're just a kid. Button...he's really high maintenance. If you're not ready to deal with that, I don't think anybody's going to judge you."
She sighs. "I will," she says. "I just..." She hugs her plushie tightly. "I know what Rarity would say, and...and I kinda want to wash my hands of the whole thing. But still...I'm the only friend he's got. If I give up on him, he doesn't have anybody left..."
"You can't just worry about what's best for him," I say. "You gotta worry about what's best for you, too."
She looks down at her feet. "I don't know what's best for me..."
The Miniature Marshmallow Social Link of the Temperance Arcana has reached rank 5!
Your power to create Personas of the Temperance Arcana has grown!
She pours herself a glass of chocolate milk, then goes back upstairs. I turn off the lights in the lounge and head up to my room to sleep. We're going to Zodiac tomorrow...
