Tuesday, June 21, 2016

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Today's Horoscope (Virgo): This horoscope brought to you by Anna Plura's Crab Lab. Anna's Lab Has Crabs!

Morning

We get off to an early start. Velvet has a big breakfast ready for everyone at six. We eat quickly, then check to make sure we have everything loaded up. Before we drive out to Sweet Apple Acres, we have to pick up Silver Spoon and Scootaloo.

It's still pretty early in the morning by the time we reach Sweet Apple Acres. Big Macintosh is riding a horse around the perimeter of the farm when we pull up; he trots up alongside the van and dismounts, patting his horse on the flank. The horse whickers and canters off to the watering trough. Applejack gets out of the SUV she's driving, takes Big Mac aside, and talks to him for a minute. He frowns, looks back at our SUV, and nods.

Everyone gets out, stretching and rubbing out kinks and cramps. Silver Spoon looks around. "Wow, so this is Sweet Apple Acres," she says.

Apple Bloom points in the general direction of the chicken coop, where dozens of hens are pecking at corn. "Go say hi t' yer family, Scoots," she says with a teasing grin.

"Oh, fuck off," Scootaloo replies, sticking out her tongue.

Granny Smith comes scooting out of the house on a segway. We all pause to stare at her.

"Uhh, Granny?" Applejack asks, tilting her head. "Where'n th' hay-high hell'd you git that?"

"Off'n th' Internet," Granny replies. "Mah ol' hip's been painin' me somethin' awful lately. Ah can git by 'round th' house jes' fine, but gittin' around th' farm's startin' t' git mighty hard on these ol' joints, so me an' Big Mac got us this here doohickey, an' now Ah can zoom around an' feed th' chickens an' get them eggs an' all that an' it don't hurt mah arthritis near as much!"

Applejack scratches her head. "Well, alright. So long as it's helpin'."

Granny cackles, then looks us all over. "Well now! This here's an even bigger buncha yung'uns than whut came last time!" She grins, then turns to Shining Armor, who's unlocking the van. "Now, where's that pretty young wife o' yours?"

"She stayed home this time," Shining Armor says. "Mom didn't think it was a good idea for a pregnant woman to work on a farm."

Granny snorts. "Bullshit. Why, Ah only stopped workin' fer th' five hours it took t' push mine out, an' then Ah went right back t' jammin' apples!"

"Yeah, well, we're city folk," Shining Armor replies. "We don't have your fortitude."

Granny lets out a wheezing laugh. "Well, y'all done had a long drive. Come sit a spell! Ah'll make us all some iced tea." She notices Sunset Shimmer; her brow furrows. "You're a new one. Right pretty young thing, too."

Sunset steps forward and smiles brightly. "I'm Sunset Shimmer," she says. "It's so nice to meet you."

Granny's face falls. "Ah'm sorry, you're Sunset whut now?"

Applejack coughs. "Granny?"

Granny steps off her segway and marches up to Sunset. "You're th' little guttersnipe whut put mah grandbabies in a mess o' trouble?" she asks quietly.

Sunset backs away, faltering. "Uhh..."

Granny wheels on Applejack. "Why, in th' name of all things oats an' apples, is this child on yer sainted pappy's land?"

Applejack winces. "It's a long story, Granny," she says. "Short version is, we're kinda stuck with her, an' had to bring her along with us so we can keep an eye on her."

Granny narrows her eyes. "Is that a fact," she drawls softly. She looks back at Sunset. "Well, let me jes' tell you one little thing, missy. Up in that there house, Ah got me a shotgun, an' Ah may be old, but Ah can still drop a jackrabbit from twenny yards! So you jes' better watch yerself, or so help me—!"

Big Mac coughs. "Granny? That tea sounds mighty nice."

Granny pauses, looks back at him, then frowns. "Alright," she says. "Y'all come on up t' th' house." She gets back on her segway, shooting Sunset one last withering look, then putters up to the farmhouse.

Big Mac takes a step closer. "Ah hope you know whut yer doin', Sis," he says to Applejack. He then goes over to his horse, which is through drinking and is standing around waiting patiently.

Applejack sighs. "You an' me both," she says.

In the awkward silence that follows, Sunset flashes Applejack a game smile. "She seems nice."

The others shoot dirty glares at her as we head up to the house.

Daytime

After a brief rest at the house, during which we catch up with Big Mac and Granny Smith for a bit, we head out to unload the van and get everything set up.

"So...we're at your house," Silver Spoon says to Apple Bloom, "but we're camping?"

"Well...yeah. There ain't nowhere near enough room up in th' house for everybody."

"We did this back in February too," I say as I haul a couple of sleeping bags out and set them aside. "At least it's not as cold this time."

"It's fun camping out!" Pinkie Pie says cheerfully. "Especially since if we run out of campfire treats, we can just go over to the house for more! And, y'know, to use the bathroom instead of having to go behind a tree."

"Y'all damn sure better not go behind one'a mah trees," Applejack grunts. "Okay, how're we splittin' up th' tents?"

I look over the six large tents we packed, rubbing my chin. "Hmm." I look everyone over. "Well, two to a tent worked before, so we'll go with that again. Pinkie, Twilight, and I will take one tent, and everyone else can pair off."

"Ah'll camp out here with y'all this time around," Applejack says. "Since Ah didn't last time an' all."

"What about Shining Armor?" Sunset asks. "He'll have to triple up with—"

"He'll be in the house," Twilight says. "Even if Cadance isn't here this time, it makes sense for him to be up there."

"Ah'll double up with Sil," Apple Bloom says. "Sorry, Scoots, but last time was a bit crowded."

Scootaloo makes a face. "Yeah, I'm good with two to a tent this time. I mean, we had fun and all, but..."

"I'll bunk with you, Scootaloo," Sweetie offers.

"Sounds good to me!"

I point to Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow, and Sonata. "You four okay with the way things were last time?"

"Sure, works for me," Rainbow says.

"Ah'll keep an eye on this one," Applejack says, glowering at Sunset.

"Yay," Sunset says listlessly.

"Okay, let's get the tents set up!" Twilight calls.

It takes a little over an hour to set up six tents in a loose circle in one of the larger clear areas of the farm. Once the tents are up and stable, we set up the camp stove and the LED lanterns.

"Wow, you guys kinda took the fun out of camping," Sunset says with a smirk. "No campfire?"

"We'll be here a bit too long to justify burning up firewood every night," Twilight says. "Besides, anything you can do over a campfire, you can do on a camp stove without nearly as much mess."

"And the big honkin' lanterns?" Sunset asks. None of us really have an answer for that one.

By the time we're done getting camp up, Granny Smith has lunch ready.

As we're enjoying one of Granny's amazing country feasts, Sunset asks, "So, what exactly are we going to be doing while we're here? I'm not really familiar with farm work."

"I was kinda wondering that myself," Silver Spoon says.

"We'll be doing all kinds of things!" Pinkie says. "Like fixing fences and baling hay and cleaning out the chicken coop and gathering eggs and slopping the hogs and...all that farm stuff!"

"Pickin' apples," Apple Bloom adds. "Summer harvest's about in, ain't it, Big Mac?"

"Eeyup." Big Mac takes a long swig of tea. "Pink Lady crop's in. Th' Fujis are just about ready. An' th' Red Delicious, well..." He smacks his lips. "When ain't they ready?"

"We got other crops that need lookin' after too," Granny says. "But more'n anything else, we need help with all th' stuff Big Macintosh never gets around to because of all th' stuff that don't keep."

"Y'all were a big help with that kinda stuff last time," Big Mac says. "Y'all really did a lotta good 'round here. A little more of that kinda help'll go a long way."

"An' Ah could sure use th' pink yung'un's help bakin' pies an' cannin' apples an' makin' jam," Granny adds.

It's a warm afternoon. After lunch, Applejack, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom lead us out into the orchards in three groups, each armed with big wooden baskets. We learn how to tell which apples are good and which apples are bad. By the time the sun sets, we've picked two big baskets of apples each and hauled them to the apple cellar.

"We'll sort these tomorrow," Applejack says, wiping sweat from her brow. "Me an' Apple Bloom'll do that. Maybe Rarity too, since she's got a good eye. Good work, everybody! Ah'm sure Granny's got us a nice big dinner waitin'." With that, we all head up to the house to wash up for dinner.

Evening

After dinner, everybody does their own thing. I decide to help Granny Smith with the dishes. We're almost done when Twilight pokes her head in. "Have you seen Applejack or Apple Bloom?"

I look up, frowning. "Not since dinner."

"They're probably out in th' orchard somewhere," Granny says. "Ah wouldn't worry about them girls none. After all, this here is their home."

"Yeah, but it's almost time to turn in for the night," Twilight says. "I mean, if you expect anyone here to be up at the crack of dawn."

"Well now, that there's true," Granny says, drying her hands.

"I'll go look for 'em," I say. I dry my hands, then stop by the shed outside to grab one of the powerful electric lanterns hanging there. I walk out into the dark orchard, searching the trees for the two sisters.

I finally find them deep in the east orchard, sitting on the roots of a gnarled, dead tree on a hill. "Hey," I call.

Applejack looks up. "Oh...hey," she says listlessly. Beside her, Apple Bloom has her arms wrapped around her knees. "Sorry we ran off. We jes' needed a minute."

"Sorry," I say. "Do you need me to go?"

"Nah, it's okay," Applejack says. "C'mon, sit down a sec."

I sit down, setting the lantern aside. As I do, I notice that there are deep grooves carved in the bark of the tree. Looking closer, I can see they're actually initials...

"This was Mama's favorite tree," Apple Bloom says, sniffling. "Mama an' Papa use'ta have picnics under it. Then when we was born, we'd have big family picnics under it."

"This here tree was one of th' first planted here," Applejack says. "It done seen five generations of Apples come an' go. Course, it's stone dead. Root rot got it about three years ago, then it got hit by lightnin'. It ain't bloomed since." She sighs.

"Everything dies," Apple Bloom says miserably. "This tree, Mama, Papa..."

Applejack wraps an arm around her sister. "Sorry," she says, looking up at me. "Today jes'...kinda got t' both of us. Papa bein' gone an' all, but th' house still has his smell. An' there's jes' so many memories..."

"Ah hated seein' that evil bitch sittin' in our house," Apple Bloom says, sniffling. "Like she has any right t' be here."

Applejack shakes her head. "Me too," she says. "But...she went outta her way t' help today. For a girl that's never set foot on a farm before, she sure is a natural at pickin' apples. Even noticed somethin' was wrong with ol' Randyroot. Big Mac's gotta cut a limb off 'im tomorrow."

"Randyroot?" I ask.

Apple Bloom suddenly lets out a giggle. Applejack's face turns red. "That there's one story you don't ever need t' hear," she says. She sighs. "Flash...whut's she up to? Really?"

I shrug. "I honestly don't know," I say. "One minute, she's this crazy, twisted bitch messing with all our heads, and the next, she's friendly, calm, and trying to make friends. I don't get it."

"She's just another bad thing t' come out of th' city," Apple Bloom says, frowning.

"Now, Apple Bloom," Applejack says. "You can't blame th' city for everything. Ah mean, your friends all came from th' city. They're good things, right?"

"Well...yeah."

"An' all these friends we've got that're here t' help us out..."

"Ah git it," Apple Bloom says, rolling her eyes.

"Speaking of which," I say, "we need to get back to the tents. Twilight wants us all turning in early."

"Shit, she's right," Applejack says. "Sorry. We just got caught up in reminiscin'..." She shakes her head. "No, we got caught up in wallerin'. Papa'd whap us both upside th' head. C'mon, Apple Bloom. Early t' bed, early t' rise. We got chores in th' mornin'."

The sisters stand up and brush themselves off. I take one last look at the trunk of the tree they were leaning against, then follow them back to the camp. Most of the girls are already in their tents. Twilight is sitting outside ours; Sunset Shimmer is sitting in front of one tent, and Silver Spoon is waiting outside another.

"Sorry we kept y'all waitin'," Applejack says. "Let's git on t' bed now."

As I'm rolling out my sleeping bag, Twilight zips up the tent flap. "Hey Flash. We have a battle tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, I think so." I shudder. "The Devil Arcana. Red Flag."

Pinkie wilts. "Oh, I really don't want to see what kind of creepy Shadow he turns into..."

"Let's...let's just get to sleep, girls. We've got a farm to...y'know...farm around on." I crawl into my sleeping bag, zipping it halfway up, and roll onto my back. The sounds of the farm around us can't quite cut through the gnawing worry over what's awaiting us tomorrow.

Nor can I stop my thoughts from turning to Sunset Shimmer. I can't forgive the things she's done to us. She's not Fluttershy. She's not even trying to make amends with us.

But...

I can't stop thinking about what she said...

Could ending all of this be as simple as trying to be her friend?

The last sound I hear before I finally fall asleep is a lone coyote off in the distance...