Persona EG LTE | Mythril Moth Creations

Today's Horoscope (Virgo): Life's problems don't go away overnight. Sometimes you need to let something cool off for a few days.

Early Morning

When we all get up for morning chores, I can't help but notice that Sunset Shimmer looks really jacked up. Her face is bruised, her nose is swollen, and she grimaces when she tries to smile. Her eyes are also still red and puffy.

I pull Fluttershy aside before she can head off to the stables. "What happened last night?"

She shrugs. "I might've kicked her a couple of times. And..." She looks away, folding her arms defensively. "She was up pretty much all night crying."

"Crying?" I watch Sunset head off for the chicken coop.

"Yep. Crying." Fluttershy shakes her head and walks off.

Twilight walks over to me, a questioning look on her face. I shrug. "Rough night all around, I guess." I head for the pig pen, Twilight right behind me.

Sunset's not the only one who's a wasted wreck this morning. Evidently, Shining Armor spent most of the night drinking; he's badly hung over. When everybody heads inside for breakfast, we find Granny Smith giving him the stink eye as she hands him a rather large cup of coffee. "Twilight, Flash, y'all deal with this mess," Granny says. "Call up that purty wife'a his, git this no-good sack o' shit yelled at, whutever y'all gotta do." She rounds on Sunset. "As fer you, y' home-wreckin' little jezzebel...Applejack's gonna work yer butt inta th' ground today, an' Ah don't wanna hear'a you makin' any more trouble. Ah've got half a mind t' call th' cops an' have them come after you." She shakes a mixing spoon at Sunset threateningly. "If'n it weren't fer not havin' any proof you done wrong, you'd be on your way t' th' slammer right now. Buuuut since that ain't gonna cut it, nothin' like some good hard farm work t' beat th' whore right outta you."

"Yes, Granny Smith," Sunset says meekly.

As soon as Shining Armor is slightly more functional than a shambling corpse, we take him upstairs to the guest bedroom, set up Twilight's laptop, and make a video call to the dorm.

Cadance greets us with a pleasant smile. "Twiley! Flash! Shiny! This is a surprise!"

"H-hey, Cadie," Shining Armor stammers roughly.

Cadance's smile turns to a concerned frown. "Are you alright? You look sick."

"He's sick alright," Twilight mutters.

Shining Armor fidgets. "I..."

"Oh, did the kids call?" Velvet steps into the camera and waves. "Hi, kids! Shiny, you look terrible."

I cough. "Cadance? You know that one thing you didn't want Shining Armor to do?"

"FLASH!" Twilight hisses.

Cadance's frown deepens. Her eyes narrow. "I see," she says. She looks directly at Shining Armor. "Shiny? I want to hear it from you. Now."

Shining Armor cringes. "I, umm...with Sunset—"

"WHY?" Cadance shrieks without giving him a chance to finish. "And if you give me that Copper Penny shit, I swear to GOD I'll—"

"LOOK, I DON'T KNOW, OKAY?" Shining Armor explodes. "I don't know." He holds his head, covering his face. "I'm stupid. I did a stupid thing. I'm stupid. Cadie, I..."

I frown. "Wait, he's pulled out that lame-ass Copper Penny excuse before?"

Cadance rolls her eyes. "Every time I've talked to him about his flirting with Sunset Shimmer, he says 'she looks like Copper Penny'. It took me three years to get him to get rid of that stupid poster he had over his bed when we were dating."

"Poster?" Twilight asks, wrinkling her nose.

Velvet grimaces. "That obscene poster he had over his bed, yeah," she says. "I swear, Night Light should never have taken Shiny to a movie like that when he was only fifteen..."

Twilight and I trade a confused glance. "Movie?"

Cadance raises an eyebrow. "The movie with that swimsuit model?"

I glance over at Shining Armor. "You said Copper Penny was a senior when you were a freshman," I say.

"Well, she was," he says. "In the movie I saw when I was a freshman."

You know how in Neighponese anime, the characters fall over when they hear something really stupid? I think Twilight and I just did that.

Cadance groans. "Shiny, did you try to excuse you screwing Sunset Shimmer by telling these kids she reminded you of a high school crush?"

"Kinda?"

"Oh, for..." Cadance shakes her head. "I'm too pregnant to deal with this right now." She grunts as she pushes off the couch and stalks off in a huff.

"Well I'm not," Velvet says. "Shining Bartholomew Armor, you are grounded," she snarls.

...Bartholomew?

"Mooom! I'm twenty-s—"

"I DON'T CARE!" Velvet yells. "You are grounded until your baby is born, except for when your wife needs you to get something for her."

"But Mom—"

"DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE AND TEAR YOUR BUTT OFF."

"—Yes mommy."

It's taking every ounce of willpower I have not to burst out laughing right now.

"Honestly," Velvet rants. "You've always been a good boy. You've almost never given your father and I grief. Sometimes you have your head up your ass and it's aggravating, but...this..." She shakes her head. "Of all the things I never expected my wonderful little boy would do..."

Shining Armor whimpers pitifully.

Cadance lets out a slow, hissing breath. "We'll talk later, Shiny." She turns to Twilight. "Make sure he does the most backbreaking, painful, soul-crushing thing there is to do on that farm today. And tomorrow. And the rest of the week too."

Twilight salutes. "Oh, you can count on it," she says. "Listen, I have some other stuff to tell you that's really important, but it can wait until tomorrow night."

Cadance nods. "Alright."

Shining Armor slumps forward as the call closes, his face in his hands. "Oh God..."

"God can't help you now," Twilight says. The look in her eyes is terrifying...

Daytime

The bat removal specialists are coming tomorrow. In the meantime, the first part of Twilight's punishment is to force Shining Armor to save as many apples from the west orchard as he can. The only protective gear he's allowed is a pair of safety goggles and a pair of thick work gloves.

Every time a bat swoops down on him, he screams like a little girl.

As for Sunset Shimmer, Applejack has her working in the barn all day. Right after breakfast, she put her to work clearing all the hay from the barn and scrubbing every inch of the floor and walls. After that, she put her up on a ladder to shore up some creaky beams.

When the rest of us go in for one of Granny and Pinkie's amazing lunches, all Shining Armor and Sunset get are a cold chicken sandwich and some chips.

Evening

After a long day of work, Shining Armor and Sunset Shimmer are allowed to join the rest of us for dinner. Nobody is looking at either of them or talking to either of them. Shining Armor is avoiding everybody's gaze. Sunset looks like she wants to talk to us, but is afraid to.

We all turn in early. Twilight doesn't seem to want to talk about Shining Armor or Sunset Shimmer tonight, so I don't press the issue.

Tomorrow night, we have our next battle in the Velvet Room.