Saturday, February 6, 2016

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Today's Horoscope (Virgo): A sudden epiphany today will have a tremendous impact on your future.

Early Morning

I wake up far too early for a Saturday, especially considering I went to bed past midnight. After taking a piss, I decide to head downstairs and make myself some bacon and eggs.

On the way to the kitchen, I see Applejack sitting in the lounge, nursing a cup and looking completely miserable. I swing into the lounge. "Rough night?" I ask.

She looks up blearly at me. "Thinkin' some mighty long thoughts," she says. She gestures to her cup. "Ah think better with some hot spiced cider, is all."

"I was about to make some breakfast," I say. "Want some?"

She shrugs. "Sure."

I fry some bacon and make scrambled eggs for two, as well as toast. Once everything's ready, I grab a bottle of orange juice out of the fridge and two glasses, then carry first AJ's plate to the lounge, then my own.

Once we've both got our breakfast in front of us, along with a glass of juice, Applejack sets aside her cider cup and starts eating without any real gusto. "Thanks," she says.

"No problem. I'm not really any good in the kitchen, but bacon and eggs are hard to mess up."

She chuckles. "Nah, it's okay. Ah'm jes'..." She lets out a sigh.

"What's wrong?"

Applejack breaks a piece of bacon into thirds and arranges it on a piece of toast, then scoops some eggs onto it. "Things...with mah family," she says. "Ever'thin's jes' a big ol' mess right now." She gestures with her fork. "Papa's...well...they done put 'im in a nursin' home fer a spell, on account of it's th' only way t' keep 'im in bed an' not tryin' t' do stuff he can't do no more. An' 'cuz Granny can't..." She shakes her head. "Big Mac, he...he's got th' farm t' take care of all by his lonesome. He can't take no more time comin' in an' outta th' city, so Ah gotta look in on Papa when Ah can. Granny...she's thinkin' about comin' t' town t' git herself a job, but Ah don't really see how that's even possible right now." She takes a bite of bacon, egg, and toast. "Then there's Apple Bloom. That stankin' twat bully done made her fittin' in up there that much harder, an' she's got enough t' worry about without kids teasin' 'er for no good reason. An' then....an' then there's me." She looks down at her plate in misery. "Ah'm plumb sick of this crap Ah got dumped on me, but Ah gotta do it even if Ah don't understand a lick of it. Ah'm gittin' help where Ah can, but...Ah gotta learn t' do it mahself, y'know? Cuz it's...it's what Ah gotta do." She slumps. "Ah jes'...Ah ain't had nowhere damn near enough time t' myself lately. Ah'm gittin' mighty wore out workin' an' worryin'." She eats about half of what I gave her, then stands up. "Ah think Ah'm gonna go back t' bed...Ah got stuff t' do, but Ah jes'...Ah jes' wanna curl up in bed an' rest. Jes' for today..." She stands up and shambles to the steps.

I want to say something, anything, helpful or encouraging, but I can't think of anything, so I watch her leave. I finish eating, do the dishes, and head back upstairs to see if there's anything good on TV.

Daytime

Around mid-morning, Rainbow Dash knocks on my door. "Hey, I'm gonna head out and get some exercise. I could use some company. You game?"

"Sure."

I change into something more appropriate for exercise and head downstairs. Rainbow's waiting there, bouncing a soccer ball on her knee. "We're not gonna play softball?" I ask.

She shrugs. "I'm doin' enough softball practice at school. I gotta keep my soccer game in shape for next season."

Halfway to the entrance, we run into Principal Celestia. She looks somewhat unhappy. "Rainbow Dash, just the person I wanted to see," she says.

Rainbow stops short, swallowing nervously. "Uhh...what's up? Am I in trouble?"

"That depends," Celestia says. She grimaces. "Rainbow Dash...I got your message on Canterbook. While I am...flattered..." She sighs. "You should know it's completely inappropriate. Leaving aside matters of...orientation..." She coughs. "I am your principal, you are a student at my school—"

"Wait wait whoa whoa whoa," Rainbow says. "What...what're you talking about?" Her eyes are wide. It may be my imagination, but I think I can hear her heart pounding.

Celestia raises an eyebrow. "I'm talking about your message asking me to be your date to the Valentine's Dance."

The silence that drops after that feels like an atomic bomb.

"Uhh..." Rainbow's face turns very red. "I...uhh...didn't...send a message like that," she says. "I mean it! I really didn't!"

Celestia blinks rapidly, then facepalms. "Of course you didn't," she says. "I should have realized...I am very sorry, Rainbow Dash." She blushes. "I feel so foolish...this is very, very awkward."

"Yeah...heh...real awkward," Rainbow says.

Celestia frowns. "Another practical joke from our mysterious hacker...this is no longer amusing."

"Was it ever?" I ask.

"No, not really." Celestia sighs. "Nevermind...forget I ever said anything about..." She blushes, then turns and hurriedly leaves.

Rainbow sinks to her knees. "OH! MY! GOD!" she screams. "That. Was. AAAAAHHHHH!!"

I pull her to her feet and drag her out the front doors. "Maybe we should talk about this outside," I say quietly. "For one thing, AJ's sleeping upstairs and I know you want to scream and yell a bit."

Rainbow sighs. "Nah, I...okay yeah, I kinda do..."

Twilight pokes her head out the front door. "Rainbow? You okay?"

"She got pranked by one of our hackers," I say. "Either Eris or Mephistopheles."

"Oh God," Twilight says. "What did they do?"

"Faked a message from Rainbow to Celestia asking her out."

"Eep," Twilight says, eyes wide.

"Yeah." I pat Rainbow on the shoulder. "Listen, Twi...we're gonna go kick the soccer ball around a bit, maybe that'll help Rainbow get over this. If anybody asks—"

"Okay," Twilight says, nodding. "Hang in there, Rainbow."

I lead Rainbow away from the dorm. We walk in silence until we get to the practice field, where Rainbow absently starts dribbling the ball. I jog along beside her, making no effort to steal it from her.

"I can't believe that happened," she mutters. "What the fuck, man? What the actual fuck?" She kicks the ball so hard it sails clear to the other end of the practice field. "Shit." We head after it at a fast walk.

I sigh. "I am so sick of people messing with us. All of us."

"Yeah..." Rainbow sighs. "I mean, bad enough that whole thing about me bein' gay is still goin' around, but..."

"Rainbow, you are gay," I point out as we reach the spot where the ball came to rest a few feet from the concrete retaining wall. "Not trying to be a dick about it, but your friends—your real friends—kinda already know that about you."

Rainbow ducks her head. "I'm...still not sure if I am or not," she says. "I mean, yeah, I've got it bad for Celestia, but...it's not like I've never, y'know..." She blushes. "I mean, it's not like...like I only think about girls, or I think about other girls, or..." She grabs her head. "Ah, dammit!" She lashes out and kicks the ball again. It strikes the concrete wall with such force that it makes a loud sound, almost like a truck backfiring or a gunshot.

"Feel better?" I ask.

Rainbow sighs and watches the ball roll off in a different direction. "Not really." She sighs. "A little. Agh...! I'm just so embarrassed, and havin' Celestia think..."

I put a hand on her shoulder. "Wait a second."

Rainbow stops talking and looks at me questioningly. "What?"

"Rainbow..." I say slowly. "Who all knows about your crush on Celestia?"

Rainbow frowns. "Well, everybody at the dorm except, y'know, Celestia and Luna, probably not Coach either..." She trails off, eyes wide. "Heeeeeey..."

I frown. "Somebody at the dorm is a rat."

"But...but that's crazy!" Rainbow says, eyes wide. "None of the girls would...would..." She shrinks into herself. In a small, fearful voice, she continues, "Right? Our friends wouldn't...wouldn't try to hurt us, right?"

A lot of things haven't been making sense for a long time...

I sit down on the cold ground, letting my mind replay events from the past several months. I start thinking about things I've seen and heard, straining to remember certain things that stood out.

"Flash? Dude?" I look up at Rainbow, who looks concerned. "You okay?"

"No, I'm not." I shake my head. "But I think...I think I've figured something out."

"What?"

"Some things have been bothering me for a while now." I pull out my phone and call Pinkie. "Pinkie? What's the earliest you can get off work today? Everybody needs to get together. We've got a problem. A Zodiac problem. Yeah. No, it can wait until you can get off...I've gotta call Cadance and get her to get rid of Coach at some point anyway. I've gotta call everybody else too...yeah."

Rainbow is watching me with a puzzled frown. I call Cadance. "Cadance? We need to have a meeting with the others this evening. I think your apartment is the best place now. Can you get rid of Coach for a few hours? Cool."

I call Rarity and Twilight, then I call Pinkie back. Rainbow has her hands on her hips. "Are you EVER gonna tell me what's goin' on?" she asks.

"Not until everybody's together," I say. "Let's finish up here and get something to eat."

"Okay..." Rainbow says hesitantly.

We spend a couple more hours kicking the ball around and jogging, then grab a burger and head back to the dorm.

Evening

The sun went down an hour ago. Rainbow, Twilight, and I have been with Cadance in her apartment since before the sun went down. Pinkie joined us a half hour ago.

Finally, Rarity arrives, carrying bags of Chinese takeout. "Good evening, darlings," she says. "Are we planning tomorrow's excursion into Zodiac?"

"Not exactly," I say.

"Flash, what's going on?" Twilight asks. "You've been acting strange ever since you got back to the dorm."

"He's been actin' strange all day," Rainbow says.

"Rainbow, tell everyone what happened this morning."

Rainbow turns red. "Uhh..."

"It's important."

Ducking her head, Rainbow tells the others about the prank message Celestia received and the awkward encounter.

"That's absolutely obscene!" Rarity declares.

"Poor Rainbow," Pinkie says. "That really sucks!"

"Our hacker has a very sick sense of humor," Cadance says with a frown. "I'd heard that you were a little...infatuated with Celestia, but this is..." She shakes her head. "This is getting out of hand."

"It's also the last piece of the puzzle I needed," I say. I take a deep breath, then look at each of the girls. I brace myself.

"Fluttershy is Eris."

Elsewhere...