Sunday, February 7, 2016

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Today's Horoscope (Virgo): Taking rash action before you have all the facts could be a costly mistake.

Early Morning

The sun is barely up when I'm forced awake by Pinkie Pie bouncing on my stomach. "Ugh...what the hell, Pinkie?"

"I told you not to do that!" Twilight snaps from my desk chair.

Pinkie sits down on the end of the bed. I can't help but notice that all she's wearing is a long T-shirt...

Actually, it's one of my T-shirts...

I sit up. "What's going on?" I ask.

"Pinkie had an idea she wants to run by you," Twilight says with a frown. "I told her it's a terrible idea, but..." She sighs. "When it comes to dealing with Zodiac stuff, you're more or less in charge, so—"

"Okay how's this sound?" Pinkie asks, cutting Twilight off. "When we go down for breakfast, everybody's all together, right? And that includes Fluttershy. So..." She throws her arms up and opens her eyes wide. "At breakfast, we tap into Zodiac!"

"In front of everybody?" I ask, frowning.

"Exactly! If Fluttershy is Eris, she'll be pulled in right alongside us! It's the perfect plan!"

"It's a terrible plan," I say without hesitation. "If I thought that was a good idea, I'd have done it as soon as I figured it out."

Pinkie deflates. "But—"

I take a deep breath. "Pinkie...remember the last time we ran into Eris? She can make weapons out of nothing." I push off the edge of the bed and stand up. "We can't exactly walk into the dining room downstairs armed and ready to fight. If Fluttershy IS Eris, and we try to ambush her like that—"

"It'd be like that time you decided the vacuum cleaner was the best way to get Opal out from under Rarity's bed," Twilight says. "Remember that?"

Pinkie turns ghostly white. "So many claws," she says in a tiny, frightened voice.

I sigh. "I agree that the best way to flush Eris out is an ambush. But...we need to be smart about it. And we absolutely must NOT do it in front of the rest of the dorm. It's bad enough we had that whole mess with Coach to deal with."

"Oh. Yeah. I forgot about that." Pinkie grimaces. "And you're right...Eris can kinda kill us pretty bad, huh?" She looks miserable. "I just...I just wanted to help..."

Twilight gets up and hugs Pinkie. "We know," she says. "But we need to be careful with this. For one thing, we don't know for sure Fluttershy even is Eris. And if she is, and we do expose her..." She swallows heavily. "It's...not going to be pretty. We need to be completely prepared." She looks down. "Not just for battle, but...we need to be prepared to lose a friend."

"Umm...if Fluttershy's Eris, doesn't that mean she isn't really our friend to begin with?" Pinkie asks, tilting her head.

"I don't know!" Twilight exclaims, throwing her hands in the air. "I barely got any sleep last night, I was so busy thinking about it! For crying out loud, we've borrowed tampons from each other! The very thought that all this time, she's been..." She sits down heavily on the bed and draws her knees up to her chest, burying her face between them. "I just don't...I don't know what to do..."

"On the other hand, if Fluttershy is Eris, maybe we can get some answers out of her. Like who Mephistopheles is, for starters."

The girls look at me. Twilight frowns. "Yeah...there's that. But...still..."

"Actually, that's pretty obvious," Pinkie says. "If Fluttershy's Eris, then Mephistopheles is Su—"

There's a knock on the door. "Excuse me? Flash? Is Twilight in there?"

It's Fluttershy.

We all look at each other.

"Uhhh...yeah, she's here," I call. "What do you want?"

"Could I...I mean...are you decent in there?"

Pinkie suddenly lets out a loud moan. "Ooooh, TWILIGHT!" she yells.

The door opens. Fluttershy peeks in. "That was a pretty terrible fake orgasm, Pinkie Pie," she says with a frown. "Twilight? I just wanted to know if you want me to take Spike to the park today. I'm taking a bunch of dogs from the shelter. I thought he might like to make some new friends."

Twilight frowns. "Uhh...actually, I think I'd like to keep Spike here today," she says. "I haven't really had a lot of Spike time lately."

"Oh. Okay." Fluttershy looks at the three of us. "Well...have a good day then."

She closes the door behind her.

I grab my pillow and beat Pinkie over the head with it. "What. The. HELL. Pinkie."

"I panicked!" Pinkie protests, covering her head with her arms.

With a sigh, I toss the pillow back onto the bed. "We need to get you fixed, I swear..."

Pinkie whimpers.

"Well, at least now we know where Fluttershy's going to be today," Twilight says. "That means we can make a plan."

Pinkie sits up straight. "You're right!" she says. "We can get everybody together and go to the park, find Fluttershy, go into Zodiac...!"

"That's a much better plan," I say. "Of course, there's still the problem of our weapons..." I frown. "I mean, you, Rainbow, and Rarity can go in armed, since you can conceal yours, but me and Twilight...we'll be pretty much shit out of luck."

"I think I'd rather fight Eris from a distance," Twilight says. "Her staff has too much reach."

I frown. "Yeah...me too, honestly. She's got a lot more skill than I do, and my axe...it's way too slow to hit her with."

"I don't really wanna, y'know, kill Fluttershy," Pinkie says. "If we can beat her without hurting her too bad..."

There's a knock on the door. We look at each other.

"Come in," I call.

Cadance, Rarity, and Rainbow walk in. "What's the plan?" Cadance asks without any preamble.

"Fluttershy's going to the park today," I say. "So are we. We'll have her isolated, we go into Zodiac...we'll find out for sure one way or the other."

Cadance nods. "Alright. I'll take you kids to breakfast once everyone's ready, then we'll head over to the park and start searching for Fluttershy."

"Won't she...suspect something's up? If all of us leave together?" Twilight asks.

Rainbow shakes her head. "She just left a couple minutes ago."

"She's gone already?" Pinkie asks. "Then we should hurry!"

"She'll spend all day in the park," Rainbow says with a frown. "You...you know how she is when she's around animals."

We all sigh.

"I still can't believe we're seriously suspecting Fluttershy of being our enemy," Rarity says. "It just...it doesn't feel real."

"That's why we need to know for sure," Twilight says. She sighs and stands up. "I'll go get ready. Everybody else, get ready as quick as you can."

"I'll go stash our gear in the SUV," Cadance says.

"Twilight and I won't be taking our weapons today," I say. "We can't conceal them like the others can, and neither of us can take Eris in a close fight."

Cadance nods. "Alright. Rarity, Rainbow, Pinkie...be sure you're carrying."

Considering we're all about to get pretty dirty, nobody wastes time with a shower—not even Rarity. Once we're all ready, we meet downstairs in the lounge.

It's still pretty early, so nobody else is up yet...

"Let's...let's go," Cadance says.

We drive to Hinny's for breakfast. Cadance tells us to make sure we get something high in protein, and makes us all order both orange juice and coffee.

"I'm going to gain so much weight from this," Rarity complains as she looks at her heavily-laden breakfast platter.

"Not likely," Rainbow says as she tears into a thick ham steak drowned in maple syrup.

"So...what exactly is our plan?" Rarity asks as she delicately slices up a deep-fried mini-sausage.

"The park's pretty big," Pinkie says. "I doubt she's gonna stay in one place all day."

"Our best bet is to split up and search for her," Twilight says. "We shouldn't enter Zodiac until one of us has found Fluttershy."

"And then, it'd probably be a good idea to text the others with her location," Cadance says. "It's...probably not a good idea to go in until we're all there to corner her."

"Yeah...corner Fluttershy...who might be Eris...and if she isn't..." Rainbow stops eating, staring at her plate. "Does...does anybody else feel like..." She sighs. "Like we all suck for thinkin' Fluttershy's a bad girl?"

"None of us want to be right about this, Rainbow Dash," Twilight says. "But...we need to know for sure. We can't..." She trails off, breaking a piece of bacon in half. "We just have to know for sure."

Morning

Once we're done eating, we drive over to the park. Cadance passes out our backpacks; Rarity, Pinkie, and Rainbow have their weapons in their packs.

We enter the park from the north gate. "Alright, everybody...spread out," Twilight says. "If you spot Fluttershy, stay out of sight, text everyone else."

"Secret ninja mission, go!" Pinkie declares cheerfully.

We all stare at her.

She drops her head. "Sorry...wanted to lighten the mood..." She slinks off toward the south end of the park.

I shake my head and head west. The others fan out in every direction.

For the next hour, I comb every inch of the park. Every so often, I see one of the others. A couple of middle-aged women I pass a couple of times give me a look like I'm up to something. I get several texts from the others saying they haven't found her yet.

After an hour, I've been around the entire park twice. Frowning, I pull out my phone and mass text everyone to meet up by the activity center at the south end of the park, then head in that direction.

Ten minutes later, we're all gathered in front of the activity center. "Did anybody see her?" Pinkie asks.

"Nope," Rainbow replies.

"I've been walking simply everywhere, and no sign of her," Rarity says.

"I didn't see her either," Twilight says. "Maybe she left already? Or...or maybe she changed her mind about where to go, or—"

The real world snaps into place around us just as that horrifying THING floats into view...

Daytime

We trudge back to Cadance's SUV. We're all pretty tired. It was a short battle, but it was an exhausting one...

"Those bears were...were..." Rainbow says.

"Unbearable?" I suggest.

"Dreadful," Rarity supplies.

Twilight frowns. "I think we got very lucky," she says. "Did...did anybody else notice that the bears weren't...actually doing much of anything?"

"Are you kidding?" Pinkie yells. "That bear tried to maul me!"

"No, Twilight's right," Cadance says. "Those bears could have hurt you all a lot worse. I got a pretty good read on them...you shouldn't have won as easily as you did."

"Now that you mention it, the bears were more or less just standing around letting us pummel them," I say.

"So...what?" Rainbow asks. "They were pacifist bears?"

"No," Twilight says sudddenly. "They were a diversion."

"I thought they were a trap?" Pinkie asks. "I mean, that whole thing felt like a trap." Her eyes narrow. "A Fluttertrap."

"It was absolutely a trap," Rarity says. "We didn't enter Zodiac ourselves. We were pulled in. Presumably by Eris."

"And she had those Shadows there waitin' for us," Rainbow says.

Twilight shakes her head. "Something still doesn't add up here," she says. "I'm just...not sure what. But something about that battle felt...wrong."

"Yeah...those Shadows weren't as tough as they should've been," I agree. "Now you've got me wondering what really just happened."

"Perhaps...perhaps Eris knew Death would appear in the park today, and the bears were a stall tactic?" Cadance suggests.

"But why would she even need to lure us into a fight with that Death thing?" Rainbow demands. "She coulda sicced a whole pack of bears on us!"

"She DID," Pinkie points out.

Twilight sighs. "Whatever. We can worry about all this later. The important thing is, Fluttershy lied about where she was going to be today. That means..." She frowns. "That means she..."

"We can't assume that," Cadance says. "We just...we can't assume anything until we see it with our own eyes. For all we know, she stayed at the animal shelter or something." She sighs. "Still...we need to be careful." She shakes her head. "At least we got some practice in..."

When we get back to the dorm, there's a note on the front door from Sonata saying she took Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle to the movies, and another from Applejack saying she's visiting her father at the nursing home.

"Good, nobody's here," Twilight says. "We don't have to answer any awkward questions." She stretches. "I'm gonna grab a bite to eat and go lay down. Flash? You should probably go take a shower."

"Oooh, I'll take a shower with you, Flashie!" Pinkie says.

"How about you take a shower on your own floor, and I'll take one on mine?" I suggest. "Because I'm gonna crash as soon as I'm cleaned up a bit."

"Aww..."

"Well, you and Rainbow need to take your showers quickly," Rarity says, "because I fully intend to take a very long bubble bath after."

"Sure thing, Rarity," Rainbow says.

I take a quick shower, then head back to my room. As soon as I'm dry, I flop onto the bed naked.

I wake up in a cold sweat. I scramble out of bed, throw open the door, and run across the hall, bursting into Twilight's room. She's sitting at her desk, reading. "TWILIGHT!"

Twilight looks up and blushes. "Gah! Flash! Put some pants on!"

I look down at myself, realize I'm still naked, and shake my head. "Nevermind that! We screwed up! Cadance isn't the target!"

Twilight frowns and puts down her book. "What do you mean?"

"That battle in the park with the bears was a diversion! Aquarius attacked today! Twilight, somebody's dead!"

Evening

Once again, we're all gathered in Cadance's apartment. Shining Armor looks around at all of us. "So, you're having another secret meeting?" he asks.

"Yes," Cadance says. "I'm sorry, Shiny, but—"

"No, I get it," Shining Armor says with a frown. "I'm not in the loop yet, that's fine." He stretches. "I'm gonna go see a movie. Will that give you enough time to have your little meeting?"

"Yes," Twilight says. "We don't want to kick you out or keep secrets from you, BBBFF..."

Shining Armor shakes his head. "Hey, the less I know the better, right?" He waves. "Later."

As the door closes behind him, Rarity raises an eyebrow. "He's taking this awfully well."

"I have my ways," Cadance says mysteriously. She looks at me. "So, Flash, what exactly is going on? Twilight said you charged into her room naked and in a panic."

Rainbow and Rarity smirk at me. I shake my head. "Cadance isn't the next victim. Don't ask how I know, it's too hard to explain."

"Does it have anything to do with that strange rhyming lady?" Rarity asks.

"Kindasorta," I say. "Like I said, nevermind how I know." I look at Cadance. "You said you didn't detect Aquarius, right?"

Cadance nods. "That's right."

"But...how far away can you sense Shadows?"

"The big ones, I can always sense," Cadance says.

"But...what if something was interfering with your scans?"

Cadance frowns. "Interference..." She scratches her head. "I guess it's possible..." She looks at me. "What are you getting at?" she asks slowly.

"Aquarius showed up today, a long way from where we were," I say. "It killed someone."

The girls gasp.

"Dude...no way..." Rainbow says.

"Oh my God..." Rarity breathes.

"Are...are you absolutely sure about that?" Cadance asks, staring at me.

I swallow heavily. "I believe what I was told completely. I have no reason to doubt it. We screwed up and somebody else paid the price."

A heavy silence falls over the table as the girls all look around at one another, then at me.

"Let's...let's not let our guard down," Twilight says quietly. "We have to assume Cadance is still...still going to be attacked. But...if this is true..."

"We'll know one way or another soon enough," Rarity says. She stands. "If...if you'll excuse me, darlings...suddenly I'm not feeling very well..."

"Yeah, me too," Pinkie says quietly. Her hair is almost completely straight. "I think...I think I'm gonna go cry now."

Twilight gets up and follows Pinkie, putting an arm around her. She looks back at me, confusion and doubt and...something else I can't read in her eyes.

Rainbow stands up, frowning, and leaves without a word.

Cadance slumps forward onto the table. "It's not like I wanted to be attacked again," she says, "but...but this..."

"I know," I say. I frown. "I don't get it. We've never been wrong before. Why now?" With a sigh, I head back to my room. I feel numb...