Thursday, May 26, 2016
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Today's Horoscope (Virgo): Word to the wise: if it was worth buying, you'd find it in an actual store.
After School
Once again, I spend the afternoon in the library with my friends, studying for exams.
Evening
Outside the library, Sonata asks me to go to her favorite taco place with her. We have a good time eating an early dinner together; Sonata doesn't "talk" much while we're eating, but she clearly has something on her mind.
When we're done, we head back to the dorm. Sonata asks me to stop by her room for a minute.
I join Sonata in her room. She pulls out a bottle of nasty-looking syrup and fills a little plastic cup with it, then swallows it. She grimaces in distaste, then follows it with a swig of water from a bottle and clears her throat.
"I told Mommy the truth...about the accident," she says hoarsely. There's a painful, wistful look in her eyes; she kneads the hem of her skirt with her hands. "She...she already knew."
I sit down beside her, taking one of her hands in mine. She looks up at me and smiles. There are tears in her eyes. She stands up and walks over to her desk. She pulls out two mangled phones with cracked screens, then walks back over and hands them to me.
"I...can finally let them go," she says. She sniffles. She starts coughing, then sits down and picks up her tablet.
When I was a little girl, Mommy used to tell me this story. There was a mermaid who had a fight with her daddy and swam away from home. She swam into the dark part of the sea where mermaids were forbidden to go. A sea monster swallowed her up. In the sea monster's belly, she curled up and cried, feeling sorry for herself. Then her daddy came looking for her, and when he heard her crying, he punched the sea monster so hard it threw up, and she was able to swim free and went back home with her daddy, who she realized she loved so much she never wanted to make him angry again.
For a while now, since the accident, I've been thinking back to that story. I think I know how that mermaid felt. The despair and the misery I've felt ever since Adagio and Aria died...that loneliness, that feeling of helplessness, that must be what that poor mermaid in the story felt like.
She pauses thoughtfully.
But I think...I'm not just the mermaid. I'm also the sea monster.
Back in Seaddle, it was always just the three of us. I didn't really have any friends. My sisters didn't either. We just stuck together. We fought all the time and they put me down all the time, but...we loved each other, you know? We were family.
She looks sad.
When I lost them, I...I felt so alone and so cold. I was lost in the darkness. I was hungry for the love and friendship they gave me.
And then I came here, and I met you and all the others, and all the good times we've had together and all the things that have happened...
She stops writing for a minute, tapping her stylus on her knee. After a moment, she sighs and giggles.
Sorry, I don't know where I'm going with this.
"I think I do," I say. "You've been feeling guilty for moving on. Having a good time and living your life when they're gone."
Sonata's eyes widen. She nods rapidly, then starts writing again.
Yeah...yeah! That's it exactly. So whenever I started having too much fun or thinking about things I hadn't thought about before, I'd remind myself of them and that they'll never laugh or smile or sing again, and I'd make myself sad. I kept myself in the darkness, crying for my sisters.
She sniffles.
But the more time I've spent with you and all my new friends, the more I've wanted to come out of the darkness. The more I've wanted to let them go and swim free. And now, finally, I understand.
It's always going to hurt. I'm always going to miss them. That's never going to go away. But I don't think...
I think they wouldn't want me to waste my life crying over them. I think they'd want me to remember the good times, and remember the love, and find something to live for and someone to love.
I think they'd want me to be happy. So that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna be happy.
She puts her tablet aside and wraps her arms around me, burying her head in my shoulder.
"Thank you," she whispers. "Thank you for being my friend."
The bond thou hast nurtured hath finally matured.
The innermost power of the Death Arcana hath been set free.
We bestow upon thee the ability to summon Alice, the ultimate form of the Death Arcana...
The Broken Bird Social Link of the Death Arcana has reached its maximum level!
Flash Sentry has mastered the Broken Bird Social Link!
The power to create Personas of the Death Arcana has reached its maximum!
Flash Sentry has forged a bond that cannot be broken!
Flash Sentry can now summon Alice. Will you die for her?
By letting go of the past and looking to the future, Sonata has awakened her true potential!
Moirae has been reborn as Leviathan!
Sonata's stomach suddenly rumbles. She draws back, eyes wide. "Eep! Gotta go!"
She bolts for the door; a second later, I hear the bathroom door slam. Shaking my head, I go back to my room to practice my guitar for a little while. After that, I decide to relax and read until bedtime.
